Thursday, March 5, 2015

Pardon my French!

You would think that if my morning could start off being dressed up as a character from the play I was recently in and hang out with a big stuffed dog in front of the new Outback Steakhouse to be part of the ribbon cutting with Orem City it would play out to be a great day.

Shawn having a serious conversation with the Scera's Spot the Dog... I don't think Spot is taking it seriously though.

It's kinda fun to hug and extra large stuffed animal! I should have had him in the play with me!

Here's the Scera staff group that attended and me and Miss Orem after the ribbon cutting.

Immediately following the ribbon ceremony I had to rush off to get Sister to her doctor appointment.

I pulled in to a parking stall in the school parking lot. Got dressed into my street clothes in the car (which was quite a task, mind you) and then I was off to pick up Sister in the classroom.

I decided to be all formal and go to the front office and let them know I was here to pick up my daughter. Before I knew it they had called into the classroom over the speaker that her mom was here to get her. I panicked at first but then hoped for the best. 


Then the call came back and I knew it was because she had melted down at the announcement of me being there in the middle of school.

I walked quickly to her classroom and came to witness her meltdown on the floor of her classroom.

I knew what had to be done.

I was going to have to pick her up and carry her out to the car, kicking and screaming.

She wasn't going to go willingly.

She kicked me and flailed so that my face felt like it had been mangled from her flailing and I am sure my undergarments had been quite exposed as she wriggled like a crocodile in my arms.

She's getting too big for this.

I'm getting too tired for this (notice I didn't say "old").

Her teacher carried her stuff to the car as I continued to carry her.

Thank goodness she got into her seat and buckled up willingly, but the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued for the entire 17 minute drive to the doctor. All peppered with phrases like, "I hate you! I wish you weren't my mom anymore! I want you to go to heaven!" Don't worry, I'm wiser than to think she actually means all those things, besides I am hard enough on myself that her words don't make much of a difference.

I thought for sure she would calm down once we got into the waiting room but I was, oh, so wrong.

Now I knew it was really bad that I had taken her out of class. I was so incredibly tempted to take her back to school and skip the darn appointment altogether, but we had already waited 3 months for this first appointment, so I, the secretaries and the other parents and children in the waiting room endured the screams and ranting as best we could without going bonkers.

I asked to be taken to a private room to help her calm down but I guess it just didn't happen.

Once the nurse came to get us, Sister had started to settle down a little bit until she realized that even after the nurse we would still have to see the doctor. Then the falling apart began again.

Once we finally got into the doctor she was screaming and yelling so much, so loud that I was straining to hear the doctors questions. Bless the doctor's heart, she was going as fast as possible knowing that Sister just could not handle any more. Our 45 minute appointment went for 10 minutes and it was a whirlwind of information flying at my befuddled mind but I think this doctor will be good for Sister. I especially knew it was a good fit when she followed me to the front to make sure I got an appointment after school next time and that she was a priority for that.

We were trying to make the appointment but Sister started falling apart again, kicking, bolting and yelling so I just told the secretary to find an appointment and call me and I dashed after Sister and we went to the van.

While sort of calming down Sister began to cry and whimper about her daddy being gone and how much she misses him and needs him home. She said she couldn't wait for him to be home Thursday and he had to be home now.

I know Sister, I know. I want him home too. I miss him too.

I got her to school.

Walked her to class.

Talked with her teacher a bit.

Got to the car and sat there.

For a moment.

When I got home Lindsey was there with a happy Baby and I was glad that, at least, home seemed to be a place I could unwind from the screaming, yelling and freaking out that had previously sent me into survival mode.

Then I got the text from Marc.

His flight had been cancelled.


... ...

A big storm in DC was not allowing flights to leave.

I had to inform Sister when she got home from school.

The thought of doing that after her horrendous meltdown for a straight 2 hours earlier that day made me tired.

Really tired.

My body shut down in response to having to deal with the stress of the upcoming meltdown that was sure to happen at 3:45.

I plopped on the couch and tried to fall asleep while Ranger and Baby crawled all over me demanding my waking attention. I think I was able to nod off a few times when they both were comfortable and happily sitting in their spots on my lap.


"[Sister], Daddy's flight was cancelled because there is really bad weather there and the planes can't fly out. He won't be home until late Friday night. He won't be home tomorrow."

(Pardon my French here)

All &*#)^$*! broke loose!

Literally %*@#!!

She was spouting off so many demeaning and nonsensical stuff that it was becoming gibberish in my ears. Maybe it was because I just couldn't focus on her anger and rage anymore. But I just went on autopilot.

"I know. I'm sorry. I can't help it. That's all he can do. That's hard. I understand. Calm down. Stop yelling so loud. etc."

(I didn't really say etcetera.)

(Just in case you wondered.)

Trust me sister, I miss your daddy too, and I need him too.

I had mutual that night and I really, really, really didn't want to go. I was trying to think of excuses to not go.

But, God had another plan.

I received a call to help out with the activity because someone had had a family emergency. At first I thought, "but I have a family emergency too" and then I knew I should go.

It was good that I did.

I laughed and had fun getting to know the youth a little better. I really enjoyed being with my fellow leaders and am developing great friendships with them.

But, best of all was seeing Brother participate!

It's missionary month and all the youth have received mock mission calls and they are doing things all month that are kind of like what real LDS Missionaries do. Tonight's activity was just a fun one, but still focused on some of the things a missionary would do.

I'm just so proud of Brother for overcoming her social anxiety and actually getting in there! I am also proud of the youth in my ward and all the love and concern and compassion they have for our son.

These last pictures were actually taken by McKenna and sent to me from her. What a sweetie, and she wasn't the only one who took pics of him for me, they're just the ones I got in time to blog with.

Brother and I got home.

Got ready for bed.

The girls were already in bed thanks to Lindsey.

I read some "Harry Potter" to Brother before he went off to sleep.

Then I went upstairs and texted with Marc for a few hours and then went into my depression drone of not wanting to go to sleep, so I watched TV to zone out and forget my life a bit.

Then I thought I better blog and in blogging I had to face my life and my body didn't want to face it, so I fell asleep and that is why you aren't getting last night's post until this morning.

C'est la vie!

Now that's French!

Day 63 of 365 Days of Up

2 remarks:

washington pics. said...

I love all your blog posts but I especially loved this one because you have pictures of my S.G! He HATES having his picture taken so I have very few. Yay! BTW sorry your DR. visit was so rough. Ugh. You are amazing!!!

Marc and Rachael said...

Thanks washington pics. I'm glad I was able to help you out :) And thanks for saying I'm amazing :)