I had an experience with my sister, Kirsten today, that brought me to my younger years of being a mom of a child with Fragile X Syndrome.
I hope she doesn't mind me briefly sharing her trial today with Zac, but he had a bit of a rough time at his little pre-school class this morning.
I was watching Millie and she was a chatter box. It made me smile to hear her talking non-stop all about her brother, her sleeping, her trash cans, her toys, her dinners, her goals in life... ya, she's that cute. Not to mention, it is especially a treat to sit and talk to her because typically she is very shy and very quiet.
Listening to this soon-to-be 4-year-old talking non-stop left me for a longing to have conversations like this with Baby. It was just so funny to hear all the thoughts of a 3-year-old... and she really did give me all her thoughts.
Then when Kirsten returned from Zac's little class I could tell right away that something was wrong. Talking to her and comforting her made me think of all the times I had cried on my mom's shoulder wishing that people weren't scared of Brother and could just see how cute he really was.
Brother bit people a LOT. Randomly. Just bite. Or hit. Or pinch. Oooh, the pinching really hurt.
Now the crazy thing is that Brother was a bouncy, happy, constantly grinning and flapping little boy who people were drawn to. But, if you ever got him anxious in any way, it was the fight or flight reaction and everyone better steer clear.
I love that kid.
It's hard to think that anyone couldn't.
It was just weird within one hour to be jealous of Kirsten's blessing of having Millie around and within the next moment to completely empathize with her about Zac.
I thought a lot today about my kids and what they are like.
I'm in a melancholy-try-not-to-get-depressed mode right now, so thinking is what I did.
Sometimes thinking about Our Life can get kinda dangerous for me.
If I think to hard I get overwhelmed.
If I get overwhelmed I get stressed.
If I get stressed I go numb.
If I go numb I'm not very good at finding the UP in my day.
I've been having a bit of a rough time lately anyway, so going into deep thought on the situation of my children didn't exactly give me the warm fuzzies.
Until I got really thinking about it.
Now I am laughing inside (because Marc is asleep next to me) about when Sister got off the bus today.
I wish so badly I had been prepared with a camera so I could capture the moment but you will just have to use your imagination.
When Sister came bounding off the bus she had her red cape on and it was billowing behind her in the breeze and her Power Ranger gloves were on to top off the ensemble.
This is her go-to super hero outfit.
I didn't know she was planning on wearing it off the bus so it was quite a surprise to see her in it when she came home.
She was smiling from ear to ear and giggled when I commented on her outfit.
Then she was my hero again when, after Brother and I got home from the Youth Activity, she wanted to help me sort laundry and was so proud of her self for knowing whose socks were whose.
Thank goodness I know my kids.
I am grateful that even as hard as the can be, I still get to see the real person they are and enjoy the good moments. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for giving me so many blessings and continually showing me reasons I have to smile.
I love my little heroes so much!