I was up until 1:30am working on a rush design project.
Then I did what moms do, I tidied the kitchen before I could start my night time regimen.
I was in bed by 2am or so.
But, Baby was up by 2:05...
She was having a rough time of wanting to be asleep. She wasn't really ornery, just ready to start her day. That happens sometimes, and lately it's been a lot, but I hoped that this night would be one where she slept a while.
I did what I could over the next hour until she was finally able to settle down in her bed to at least be quietly entertained without me in the room.
So I laid in bed, not sleeping, but listening for Baby to fall asleep so that I knew I was safe to fall asleep.
I dozed off a few times before I heard her snoring on her pillow. I don't know what time that was, but it didn't seem like much time between that and Brother running upstairs to tell me he wasn't feeling well.
I knew immediately, just by his tone and jittery movements, that he wasn't sick, but was actually feeling anxiety.
I had reminded him the night before that we were going to be attending the Payson LDS Temple Open House.
I knew that he was having anxiety about this.
He wasn't sick, but over-anxious, worrying about the unexpected.
He's never been to a Temple Open House.
So I knew there would be some anxiety, but not to this extent—waking at 4 in the morning with panic and fear.
I was already fighting the idea of going because of the rush job I needed to get out, the sleep I hadn't gotten, and both those things making me not have much of a desire for anything spiritual.
I had made the reservations for our Temple trip a month before. I had had to choose a morning because everything else was already taken, so I knew it would be a little out of sync to bring Brother during school anyway.
"This is dumb. Why am I even going? It's just the temple. It's not like I haven't been in one before or won't see another one." (I live in Utah—there are a LOT of LDS Temples in this state—so to those LDS members reading that, who live outside of Utah, they probably want to smack me. Remember, though, I was ornery and tired and stressed.)
It was a rough morning getting Sister and Baby off to school and to add to that Brother was yelling, screaming, hiding and falling apart about going to the temple open house.
He did NOT want to go.
I did NOT want to fight him on it.
NOT today.
I had plenty of reasons to NOT go to the Open House.
After the girls were off to school and I was able to wrestle Brother into his Sunday best and bribe him to get in the van we were off to pick up Marc for the journey.
Because of everything that had gone on we were already running late. I was almost in tears feeling frustrated and defeated, not understanding why I even cared about doing something spiritual for the day.
Then I realized, in my haste, I had forgotten to give Brother his ADHD and anxiety meds.
"I'm so stupid! I'm such a bad mom!" I yelled in my head, "Why am I feeling so compelled to do this?"
Marc came to the van and I told him the situation and I could tell he was a little worried about my demeanor.
I said a little prayer in my heart for the 3rd or 100th time that day. This time it was for Brother, that he could handle an overwhelming, crowded and new situation without the meds that help him with his ADHD and anxiety.
The entire 30 minute drive I was a little on edge, trying hard to be positive but I was tired and I was ornery and I had a child who can hardly handle life on meds, let alone without them...
Then, when we got to the road leading to the temple, I did start feeling a little bit better and was ready to be patient and understanding of all that might happen during our temple tour.
When we drove towards the parking lot there were hundreds of volunteers helping direct drivers, direct parking, lead the tourists... there were orange flags and vests everywhere. We saw our friend from our old Santaquin ward directing traffic and we were excited about that, but didn't have a chance to say hello as we were driving by.
Entering the parking lot we saw our old Stake President from Santaquin. We were so excited and when we got out of the car we made sure to walk over and say hello and give him big hugs.
You see, while we were living in Santaquin the building of the Payson Temple was announced. It was such an exciting announcement for everyone in that area. We were going to have a temple right there by us. I had plans to take daily or weekly photos of it's progress, but then we moved to Orem.
It felt so neat to see a couple of people from our old ward and neighborhood because it seemed to bring it all full circle. To remind you, though, Brother was still anxious and was screaming at Marc and I about whatever. We weren't surprised by this behavior, just a little embarrassed as people stared at him wondering why this grown boy was yelling so loud on the temple grounds going toward the chapel next door where the tour started. When we walked in, we were greeted by our old Santaquin Bishop! We hugged and talked to him for a minute and he tried to get a peak of Brother as he was running in quickly to avoid the awkwardness of having to greet someone.
Brother picked the seat and we waited for the event to start.
I could feel Brother's nervousness just sitting by him, yet I could tell that he was happy to have seen a few familiar faces and it seemed to calm him enough to, at least, sit.
Then my mom walked in.
I almost cried when she came and sat down next to us.
I thanked God right then for sending us an angel to help Brother through the experience.
We had made our reservations a month ago.
My mom had already been twice.
I never expected to see her there that day.
She had gotten standby tickets to take a friend with her that day.
They were a little late, but they let her and her friend in anyway because our old Bishop recognized her and told her to go on in and where we were sitting.
So there she was.
An answer to my prayers.
Brother's demeanor changed as soon as she sat down.
He was on his best behavior.
I knew right then, that regardless of all the things that had gone wrong leading up to this experience, this was what I was supposed to do.
After our introduction we were led outside to start toward the entrance of the temple.
As we approached the entryway I noticed a small tent filled with young people along the sides helping others put little slippers over their shoes. (To try to keep the floors clean.)
Then in the lines of kids helping with the booties, I recognized Brother's best friend from Santaquin. She hollered to him and he got so excited to see her and ran right to her so she could help him. He kept giggling with happiness.
I didn't stop grinning about that for the first 15 minutes of the temple tour.
The temple is physically beautiful. I really can't do it justice with my words.
It was so peaceful and spiritual and I noticed my uptight ornery self was beginning to fade.
Inside the temple were many volunteers, again showing us the way as the tourists. During our tour inside we got to see another really good Santaquin Ward friend (Brother's best friends mom) and give her big hugs. Brother was again so happy to see another familiar face.
Right after seeing her we were able to see a very dear friend that was a big part of our lives there in Santaquin. We, again, exchanged hugs and smiles and looks of amazement and excitement that we had come on the day she was volunteering.
After that brief meeting we had the opportunity to listen to more friends of ours from our old ward. After their little talk was done we hugged them and talked to them.
By this time Brother was so used to seeing all these people he knew that this place he had never been to before now seemed familiar.
AND he was comfortable having grandma Judy there to lead the way and keep him moving.
I think that Brother's interest and awe were just as beautiful to see as the temple.
I was so proud of Brother and so happy to have had my mom there to help and all the "angels" along the way that I just HAD to take a photo to commemorate the event.
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| Here's my mom and her friend |
I wandered off for a bit while Brother hung out in the van with dad for a bit because I wanted to get a few snaps of the temple from the front side.
As I was walking down the walkway I saw the gardeners taking care of the Tulips. My mom was talking to them and so I joined in to find out they are weekly volunteers that come tend the garden. I wanted to get a picture with them just because I thought it was neat to see them out there serving. It really made my day that they gave me a tulip they were pruning from the flower bed.
I think that's exactly how heaven will be... people we know guiding the way and walking beside us.
Even on our way out we saw another familiar face and Brother was happy to say hello to him too.
Lastly, my mom even topped it off by treating us to Chinese.
Surprisingly, Brother snarfed what he got.
Tuesday was such a special day. I feel very blessed to have had it go so well.
Forward to today...
Brother was home sick from school and I sent Baby to school with a runny nose hoping it would just get better once the day had gone on a bit.
Even with Brother home I was able to get some laundry done, work on design work and finish up some photo edits.
But my UP for today was finding out that both our girls get to go to a summer camp this summer! They are going to LOVE it!
Another UP is actually remembering to tell you what Sister said to our dog, Ranger, this week. Sister was cleaning off the table and Ranger was following her everywhere, constantly at her feet.
While Sister was cleaning she knocked something off the table and it fell in front of Ranger.
Sister quickly asked, "Ranger, can you pick that up? ... Oh, never mind. I forgot. You don't have hands."
I laughed hysterically and so did she. It was just one of those kind of funnies.
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