Friday, January 23, 2015

Between Being Busy and Being Numb

I keep thinking about how I really want to show you videos of Christmas and I record video of fun things around the house, but I have not had time to put anything together for you to watch on my YouTube Channel. I miss doing that.


It's fun for me to show you how my life is in real action.

I love to write, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I just can't capture things in words the way I would like to.

Making movies is fun.

Nothing professional, mind you, just good ol' home movies.

In fact I noticed that the LDS Film Festival is coming up this March and they have a section for short films (like 2 - 5 minutes) that anyone can enter in and I got so excited about the idea of making a little film documentary about Fragile X in my world.

I'm too busy with things...


Sometimes I'm busy, but I just sit in a numb daze staring at the computer screen trying to focus on what I was supposed to be doing.

But, between being busy and being numb, putting together videos just hasn't fallen into my list of to-do's.

I want to though.

Maybe you'll see a little Christmas recap by Spring and maybe next year I'll get in a little Fragile X Documentary for the LDS Film Festival.

Who knows.

Anyway, today was one of those days where it was decent, no awful things happened, no out of the ordinary occurrences and nothing that would really cause me to be down.

But, I just felt numb for whatever reason.

Depression can do that to you.

It's weird that way.

Your life is great but it tries to remind you of your struggles and pain just, well, because.

Really, I have nothing to complain about.

I mean Brother did miss the bus this morning. I had to change both the girls' bed sheets. I couldn't get the diaper box open after I had realized there were not more diapers on the shelf and Baby had already run off to the living room and decided that, instead of going into the bathroom to pee, why not just stand next to the couch in the living room and pee there.

I guess I could complain about that.

I am behind on my work and tired so I can't seem to keep my eyes open long enough to get the work done without dozing into short naps consisting of my typing stuff likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee this because I fall asleep with my fingers on the keys.

Maybe I could complain about that.

I had to load all 3 kids in the car to run to a doctor's office to pick up some vitamins for my restless leg...

I will not complain about it, but I will tell you kind of how it went:

Mom - "OK kids let's all hop in the car, I need to run a quick errand."

Kids - "Can Ranger come with us? Can I sit in the middle? Can we go to the toy store? Can Ranger sit by me? Where are we going? I don't wanna go! I wanna stay home! This is stupid! You're a dumb mom! Turn around right now."

Mom - "Sister get back in the car! Baby sit in your seat! Stop pulling her hair! Just let her hold him (Ranger). Stop crying! Stop screaming. Stop hitting me! Don't throw that at me!"

Kids - "K, Mom, you can turn around now. I don't want to go here! You missed it. Let go home now. Too bad, you missed it."

Then there was fighting over the middle spot and crying and wailing ensued.

Luckily there was a Wendy's on the way home.

The kids LOVE Wendy's! They'll eat it every time.

So it all ended well in the end.

Then Lindsey can to watched the kids while Marc and I went to an activity at the church to play games with other couples and adults.

That was my UP for the day.

It was just fun.

And I let myself just have fun.

Fun is up and up is fun.

It makes a great day for everyone.

Day 23 of 365 days of UP

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