Sunday, February 8, 2015

"Pits of Despair" for the Downhearted

I really try heard to stay positive.

I am thankful that I do.

Because sometimes things around here just, honestly, stink!

It's one of those days, though, where Marc and I both feel defeated.

I am going to be a whiner right now.

If you don't want to read my whining, then you can skip to a happier blog.

I'll give you some time to find one...

...

Still here?

OK, then I guess you are curious to hear what I am going to whine about.

IT IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD TO HAVE 3 CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS!!!!

Waaaaaaahhh!!!!

I really want to say I am successful at this.

I want to be able to give other parents in my situation some great advice.

Today I'm just looking forward to tomorrow so I can just get one more day of tough stuff behind me.

I'm getting help for all my kids in one way or another and I still get overwhelmed.

I have ways of helping them at my fingertips through internet, teachers, friends, family and other outside supports and I still fall apart.

I am just finding, with each new struggle, that it's still really, really hard and I feel close to giving up.

Waaaahhh!!!

I can't even tell you all that we are going through because it is all needing to be private struggles, and maybe that is part of it that is hard for me.

Part of the reason I blog is so that my experiences can help, inspire or direct others who are possibly facing some of the same things.

I even taught The Plan of Salvation today in Young Women and talked all about how it is truly a plan of happiness.

Then I come home and realize how hard being happy can sometimes be.

Does that make sense?

Happiness isn't always an easy thing.

Sometimes happiness is a long, uphill struggle before we see the sunrise of a new and better day.

I guess I just need to vent and let you all know that finding the UP's in my days isn't always easy or fun.

Some times it is awfully tough to see the UP's, sometimes it takes some work, sometimes it's really easy and sometimes, I just don't even want to look at the UP's because I just feel like whining.

That last one is the reason why I am pushing myself to do this challenge of finding an UP in everyday. If I keep whining, that's exactly what I'll do—keep whining.

So in and effort to not let myself fall into the pits of despair... wait, I just thought of something...

(watch this video so you can laugh like I just did in my head when I said "pits of despair")



Oh, that made me laugh... that made me laugh good!

It's amazing what a little "Princess Bride" can do for the downhearted.

Anyway, as I was saying, I am still making an effort to look for the UP's of my day, and there certainly were some:

1) I was able to prepare a lesson for the Young Women in 8 minutes and it actually went pretty well.

2) Marc and I had the opportunity to talk to one of the leaders of our church and were truly blessed and inspired and encouraged by his words.

3) They play I'm in, Pinkalicious, starts tomorrow and it is already almost sold out!

4) The amazing friends and neighbors we are surrounded by who have become our family who are there for us and our kids!

AND

5) I laughed out loud when I found the clip that reminded me of one of my favorite movie lines ever, and it cheered me up enough to find five UP's in my day when I thought I only had one!

5 remarks:

E. Webster Bennett said...

Sometimes the "UP" is in knowing you're not alone. I appreciate you sharing that you're having a harder day. It makes you real and human and a lot more inspiring. There's the contrast of the lows and highs and quite frankly your best material will be what comes from the hardest stuff. We just can't see it yet.

Everyday feels like a battle on some level in my world. People ask me how I do it with two kids with special needs. I usually tell them I have no idea & that quitting isn't an option so I press on, with Me, God, and the kids all doing the best we can with what we have. Sometimes it looks like an epic disaster and with regretting what was said or done. But then there are those golden moments where all of that slips a way for a little bit and there is pure joy.

A work of art cannot be what it is without contrast. You are painting a masterpiece of epic proportions with your life. What looks like a failure is a backdrop to another success. We can't possible do it all, have it all, be it all, or even all of those all's. We're designed to be perfectly imperfect so that we can learn and grow. Perfection is a myth we use to tell ourselves we're not good enough. I'm telling you that you are one amazing woman, wife, mom, friend, and whatever other title you put a hat on for. I am inspired and amazed by you.

Carla Jo Webb said...

Hang in there. We love you and Marc

Rachael said...

Thank you E. ! That was all beautifully said, thanks for the reminder and the influence ;)

Thank you Carla for the encouragement :)

vickit43 said...

I love reading your blog. I have two grown sons with fragile x and if someone had told me to find up days everyday when they were young I would have laughed at them. I wrote in a journal when I had really bad days just to get it off my chest. I did not have a blog back then. Now days are usually pretty good but there are still incidents that happen that make you shake your head. Oh well we are moms and we do the best we can and then we give the rest to God. Hugs

Marc and Rachael said...

Thanks vickit43, it's always fun to read back in my journals, I'm glad I have them before I started a public journal on my blog :)