But, instead, it is a sitcom.
I just have to write this down because I am still in unbelief that this many things could happen in such a short time.
Monday
Baby had a rough night and was tugging at her right ear.
Go to the Doctor.
Ear infection.
Antibiotic.
Sister comes to me that evening before bed and says her eye hurts.
I look at it.
Nothing.
Not red.
I brush her teeth and we begin the bedtime routines.
Tuesday
Sister informs me that her eye still hurts.
I don't pay much attention to it because she loves to make up illnesses or owies for band-aids.
I have a doctor appointment that was scheduled 5 weeks ago.
It's at 9am.
I leave my house at 8:45am with Baby in tow.
I live 40 minutes away from my destination.
Two minutes to my exit and there is a traffic jam and I am at a stand still.
I use my trusty cell phone and call the office to let them know I will be late, they say they can't fit me in and will reschedule me for later that afternoon.
Grr.
I hop over to my mom's on the way back home to hear her new song. (It is so cool! She's gonna be famous one day.)
I get home and put Baby down for a nap and then call my mother-in-law, Lynne, to come sit with Baby while she is napping and get the kids off the bus when they get home so that I can go to my appointment.
Again I drive 40 minutes to the same destination I was approaching this morning.
Did I mention I drive a suburban?
$120 to fill that tank, baby!
Doctor tells me stuff... yada yada...
I get home.
Lynne has cleaned my kitchen and done laundry.
Sweet.
Sigh.
Make dinner.
Go to my Relief Society Activity.
Come home to chaos.
Set my trusty cell phone on the table so that I can start helping with the chaotic children.
Come back to get my trusty cell phone after all the children are in bed.
It's wet.
Someone spilled water on it.
Goodbye trusty cell phone.
I will miss you.
Hope I get one to replace you soon.
Wednesday
Up at 2am because Sister is crying and her eye is glued shut with goop.
Clean her eye and settle her back to bed.
Panic a little because I know that can't be good.
Up again at 6am.
Call to make doctor appointment for Sister to get her eye checked.
Get ready to go to my follow-up Doctor appointment.
My mom shows up at 8:15 am sharp so she can get Brother onto the bus and watch Sister and Baby.
I get there.
Get my stuff done.
Go out to the car and call my mom on my husband's cell phone that I was supposed to be delivering after my appointment.
I ask my mom if I can run the phone up to him before coming home.
She asks, "Is it normal for Baby's leg to be pink?"
What?
Pink?
I don't understand.
It's bright pink.
????
I'm coming right home.
On the way there I think,"She must be having an allergic reaction to the antibiotic!"
Drive faster.
Make another appointment for Baby.
I take both girls to the doctor.
One with a bright red, goopy eye.
One with a pink leg.
Early Valentines?
????
Doctor comes in and checks the pink leg first.
????
He thinks it looks like a sunburn or something and can't quite figure it out.
????
He takes a pen and draws a line around the rash so that I can be sure to notice if it spreads.
He writes a new prescription because it looks as though she is having an allergic reaction to the other one.
Now he checks Sister.
He is worried it is scratched and wants to check it out.
He puts this glowy stuff in her eye and then checks it with a black light.
Cool.
No scratches.
Just Conjunctivits.
Eeew.
I take her to McDonald's because she was so good at the doctor.
Then I take them to a real carwash.
Thought they would think that the water going over the car while they were inside would be fun.
Kinda freaked 'em out.
Get both of the girls' prescriptions.
Get home.
Give medications.
Put one to bed.
Let the other one watch a movie.
Marc comes home.
I show him the pink leg.
He says it looks like what he saw on her last night.
????
He then tells me he thought it was the red punch she poured all over herself in the kitchen while I was gone to Relief Society.
...
...
I look at her leg again.
...
I just paid to have a doctor look at a punch stained leg?
Yep.
I am doing laundry.
Oh, there's the white socks turned pink from the red-punch-clean-up-towels.
It all makes sense now.
I have been laughing the whole day.
I couldn't have made this stuff up if I tried.
Seriously.