Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's only 2 in the afternoon...

OK, so let me begin at the beginning--this morning.

So I am getting 8 onto his school bus and 2 comes running to the open doorway in her birthday suit. It is cold outside and I really didn't want the bus driver to think I don't dress my children, so I rush her to the couch to look through the window. I didn't bother to put her in a diaper because 8 was about to leave and I figured 2 must have taken off her diaper because she had already peed so I was safe....

Then I feel something warm on my leg and there is the puddle on the couch. (That's #1)

So I get her dressed, clean off the couch and send 12 off to school on his bike and 2 and I set off for work at Kid's Who Count. It was a field trip today--we got to see sheep, goats, swans, geese, ducks and kangaroos! Ya, kangaroos! One kangaroo even gave 2 a hug--how cute is that! I would show you how cute it was with wonderful pictures but, I forgot my camera. (That's #2)

So I stop by the eye doctor on the way home to get my new lenses put in so that I can now see. Then I went to Walmart to get some printer ink. When I get home I realize that 2 has leaked through her diaper--she is soaked. (That's #3)

While I am eating leftover pizza for lunch with 2 I get a phone call from my sweet husband. I had to answer the corded phone because I couldn't find the cordless. So I sat there helpless as 2 poured out 2 cups of water onto the stool and splashed her hands in it so she was able to get it all over the entire kitchen floor. (That's #4) And then she mashed her pizza into it. (That's #5)

Well, as much as I love talking to my hubby I had to hang up to start cleaning up her mess. Which this is an everyday occurrence, that is why I just watched as she did it. (That's #6)

So, then I figure it is safe because 2 has eaten and done her water thing so I call my sister to get my other sister's phone number. I was getting tired--don't know why--so I was laying on the bed talking. I could hear 2 by my door playing and figured she probably wasn't doing anything particularly different than her usual mess of lotion all over her face, water all over the bathroom, my make-up on her face from chin to forehead and ear-to-ear, toothpaste squirted on the sink or all the clothes in her drawers strewn around her room; so I figured I could just listen for any trouble. I never thought to smell for any trouble, but, by the end of the 10 minute conversation with my sister my nostrils began to curl. "She has a poopy diaper, that's why she wouldn't lay down for a nap..." I thought to myself. (That's #7)

When I hung up the phone I saw 2's overalls laying limply on the floor at my door!!!!! Oh no!! Noo!! No! As I move in closer... yes... there it was a pile of poop on the floor next to her really clean diaper and overalls! (That's #8)

But, it doesn't stop there, as I begin to inspect the area I realize that all the other dark spots on the floor are poop footprints! Yes, footprints made with her poop! (That's #9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, and 23)

I find her in her room (because I just followed the footprints) with poop on her legs and feet (#24) and she has the desitin spread on her face and hands (#25). She realizes that she is in trouble or at least knows that what she did wasn't exactly going "potty" in the way I have been trying to teach her, so she runs--more footprints... (#25, 26, 27) and then I catch her and wipe off what I can and stick her in the tub.

The bathroom is right next to the hall that she did her mess in so came into the hall to clean up... I won't even tell you about that experience. (#28, 29, 30, 31 - 55) So I get the vacuum, to help out with the whole deal. This time when the voice said "check on 2" I did. She had thrown the washcloths and toys out of the tub onto the floor so it was soaked. (#56) And she had been eating the soap!!! (#57)

Ya, and it is 2:00 in the afternoon! She's eaten soap and it is going to make for an interesting rest of the afternoon.

Oh, ya, and I am laughing--really! It really is too funny to think that one 2-year-old can do so much in one day! I just hope you all get a real good laugh out of this one, I know my sister and I did when I called her afterward to tell her about the day.

7 remarks:

MVP Family said...

You came straight from heaven and your kids are lucky to have you! I would have laughed up until about #10 then just ran away! Love ya!

brookiebaby said...

AHHHHH! I'm frazzled (and a little naseated ha ha) just reading this! You really are a super, superwoman! I think that you really could save the world with your super-natural powers!!! :)

Suzy said...

So I would like to know what she was doing while you were writing this post. I thought my poop and pee stories were good. That just topped any I could ever have. I'm sorry, but Shane and I were rolling on the floor!

amyandrandy said...

okay so you have some real deal patience girl. but, i have to admit if you don't laugh than it would be up to maybe #58 or higher. your stories make me laugh...keep em' coming.

brookiebaby said...

Hi Rach,
Any word on the FXS run? I can't remember when it was/or is...
Let me know if you know when or where it is...

Ethington Family said...

That is so funny! It makes me feel better about Jeb. He always wipes poop on the toliet seat and door or floor when he goes. And he loves to see what kind of messes he can make, but he is getting better. I have almost talked him into using toliet paper.
I don't think i have ever handled it as well as you. I tend to not laugh until I'm re-telling the story. You're awesome! take care, mary

Lisa said...

Hang in there girl... it gets easier!!