Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thinking late at night

You know those days where you are incredibly tired but can't sleep because for some reason you are depressed or can't stop letting your mind run... ya, tonight is one of those nights.

I am sure Marc is upstairs wondering where I am and why I haven't come upstairs to comfort Sister while she cries out still not asleep.

I don't know why I haven't gone up to comfort her.

He's doing a fine job with her.

She's actually quiet now.

Maybe he has decided to kneel by her bed until she falls asleep.

He's a good dad.

Not sure if I'm a good mom.

Ya, one of those days.

I won't go into details, not this time.

But I will say this.

As I was praying for strength and help I had a song come to my mind.

I have heard people talk about prayers being answered and something coming to their mind as an answer to a prayer. I can't really say that I have ever been in tune enough to actually realize that the thought in my head was an answer. But, this song that came to my head. The words. There was no mistaking that my Father in Heaven was trying to tell me something.

"Where can I turn for peace.
Where is my solace.
Where when my sources cease to make me whole..."

I questioned myself because I don't ever remember knowing the words by heart to that particular hymn.

I checked the words...
It is actually "When other sources cease to make me whole."

I had a huge realization at that moment.

I was trying to find sources for my comfort and pain.

My sources were no longer helping me through my healing.

I had to read the rest of the hymn because only those 3 lines were what came to my mind over and over again.

The words to this hymn strike me to the center of my soul, and I think will forever be one of my most treasured hymns.

It spoke to me like an answer to my prayers.






I just have to post the words to this hymn so you can understand my excitement when, for the first time, I trully realized the meaning of this song. You can read the whole song here, even listen to it if you want... here.

It is weird how we think we have learned what we need to know, and then we find out that we don't know as much as we thought we did.

Wow! I feel so blessed!

1 remarks:

Becky said...

Thank you Rachael. That was exactly what I needed - today.
Love, Becky