Monday, July 27, 2009

My worst nightmare and a little miracle

So on Thursday night I was feeling really sick and was experiencing some painful cramping. We had been swimming and just having a good time so I though maybe I had done too much so I laid down, but I just had this sick feeling there was something wrong with the baby. I realized then that I hadn't felt her move since early that morning and it was now 7pm. I tried not to panic, ate something sugary and then laid down on my left side waiting for any sign of movement... nothing...

I called the hospital labor and delivery and explained the cramping and the not feeling any movement. They told me that I should drink a large glass of orange juice, lay down on my left side and count 10 kicks from the baby in one hour. So I did that, I even waited 2 hours... nothing...

I called them again and they told me that I should come check into the ER and they would admit me to labor and delivery and they would check for a heartbeat.

So, trying not to cry or panic I calmly filled Marc in and then we lied to the kids and told them that I was sick and they just wanted to make sure I was OK, and then we left. The drive was silent until Marc asked what was going through my mind, "Fear, and trying not to think the worst. I hope this is all just a mistake and everything is fine. You know, me being over-the-top worried."

So we get to the ER, do the whole fill out the papers thing. The entrance lady was asking me all kinds of questions and Marc had to keep correcting me because my mind was just elsewhere.

Finally we get up to Labor and Delivery and a nurse quickly admits me to a room and she hooks me up and checks my blood pressure and all that. I am thinking the whole time, "Just check the baby! I am fine! What about my baby!" But, me, being the patient girl that I am just lay there on the table waiting for her to finish her routine.

She puts the thing (whatever that is called) on my belly with all that jelly stuff and she moves it around, she looks at me, nothing... and moves it around some more, nothing... for 10 minutes she tries to find a heartbeat, nothing...

At this point I am just hoping she is a dumb nurse and just can't find the heartbeat. She can see the worry in my eyes and says she is going to go get the doplar. Hmm, I think, that sounds official, we will find it then, nothing...

She leaves the room...

I look at Marc, and I say, "OK, now I am scared." I can feel the tears welling up but, I have this gut feeling that I am just overreacting and all is well.

The nurse comes back in and tells me that she has contacted the doctor and that he has ordered an ultra sound. He also wanted her to tell me that if they don't find a heartbeat that they will send me home and talk about options in the morning—AAAaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! Can we wait to tell me that when we know for sure there is bad news. Now I am really freaking out! Of course on the outside I am still calm, but inside I am terrified!

The ultra sound guy comes in earlier than scheduled—sweetheart—and it takes him a while to hook everything up. Now, picture me laying on the bed, not knowing if my baby is still alive....

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Ya! Can we hurry here. I don't want to hear about the fact that they ordered this ultra sound machine only a year ago and yet it still has problems every once in a while and how they wish they could send it back and get a new one, and the whole chit chat and giggling about it being like a stupid computer, ha ha! Let's see the baby already!!!!

He puts the ultra sound on my stomach, nothing... but quickly something, she was just really, really, really low! He said, "Wow, I haven't seen them this low unless they are ready to deliver!"

"Where's the heartbeat?" I ask.

There it is.

That sweet hearbeat.

Oh, I love that sound.

Thank you, thank you, I say over and over again. The ultra sound guy probably thought I was thanking him but, I was thanking the Lord for answering my prayers.

The miracle in all this was that the ultra sound guy took the time to let us watch her. We got to see her yawn while stretching her arm. We got to see her eyes move from side to side, throw her head back and squirm upward to get in a different position. It was miraculous! 21 weeks and 1 day at the time, and it was amazing. She is so real, so alive, so beautiful! I love her already. And now I am noticing EVERY movement and don't take a single one for granted.

14 remarks:

Jana Nickle said...

Wow. What a horrifying experience. Im so glad everything is ok. Are you going to find out if she has FX in uteuro or wait until shes born? It doesnt matter either way right? Thank God everthing is ok.

Brooke said...

Oh honey, I'm soooo glad things are fine! Those dumb monitors were my best friends for 7 months! :) But, you just NEVER EVER just sick of hearing that sweet little heartbeat! Keep her safe and sound for 19 more weeks! :) Love you guys!

The Chizel Family said...

Why didn't you tell us sunday?? We are so glad that everything is fine!

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

What an experience. I am so glad that everything is okay. Take care of yourself and the baby.


I love your new header. Very nice.

julianne orth said...

how scary, i was dying inside just reading it. i am glad that everything is ok. I hope this doesnt mean an early delivery though :)

Davey said...

wow that's so scary. I'm so happy everything was ok.

HaLieJoPhoTogrAphY said...

WOW! I am so sorry you had to go through that, just reading your post made me worry and freak out! I am so so so glad all is well! Rachael you are an amazing person and you have such a cute family! good luck with every thing and hope to see you at church everyonce and awhile! its hard cause i am going to the singles ward now and i miss all the little kids and the amazing families in the 9th ward!

much love, Halie Peck

Julie said...

I had chills the whole time reading this. I can feel your anxiety, panic, and worry. I am SO glad that you were able to hear the sweet heartbeat and be reassured that she is okay. We are all counting down the weeks with you until we can meet her.

Paola said...

I am so glad you went to make sure everything was ok.
I am the same way, after all the $ we pay for insurance they better check if our babies are doing well, that's right!:)
So happy for you!

Jane said...

Crying my eyes out right now. So so glad all is well. I am hugging you through the computer.

Joe said...

I kept re-reading the title "little miracle, baby has to be alive..my throat got thick and tight.. I am so happy you experienced a BIG miracle that night with a little angel.. So happy for you and your family

Love, Joe Orgill

Yo said...

My heart was pounding the whole time wondering what the outcome was going to be - so glad to hear it all turned out well!

Rosanne Orgill said...

so glad everything is all right. I read the last first and then I read it back wards and I still cried even tho I knew the ending. whew. She does look like a cutie

Rochelle said...

I think we should all own our own ultra sound machine!! Want to go in on one with me??? :)