Monday, September 14, 2015

I pulled a Napoleon Dynamite...

To first get you in the mood for this post I have to give you a little clip of what I felt like today...


That was me.


I wanted to ride a bike today so I borrowed Marc's new mountain bike. I was just taking an easy trail, nothing crazy. I was feeling pretty cool actually... wind in my hair, sunglasses on, speeding past the walking grandmas... it was awesome.

Until I couldn't figure out how the the gears worked after going uphill.

You know how you want to pedal faster so you're not working so hard going uphill... ya, I did that, but once it got flat again I couldn't figure out how to get back into a low gear. I didn't want to ruin Marc's new bike, so I just turned around where I was and headed back home looking like a dork pedaling like I was in a spinning class just to get across the horizontal.

I tried to own my awkward pedaling like a boss, you know, like I meant to have it in that high of a gear.

Then I thought I might as well take a shortcut home so I didn't have to keep miserably pedaling this quickly the whole way home.

All was well.

I passed a few dog walkers and a fellow biker.

I still feeling pretty cool and young.

I saw a curb.

I was like, "sweet!"

I could jump this curb.

I'm on a cool bike.


Great shocks...

here I go...


can I do this?

well, I can't get out of it now...


Handlebars in my gut, bad hand catching my full body weight on the wet ground and a very sore foot.




I brushed myself off.

Reminded myself I would laugh at this later and quickly pedaled but slowly moved on my journey home.


My foot really hurts.


My hand hurts.

I think I peed my pants...


I did.

I'll blame it on a full bladder and the handle bars hitting my gut...

Yes, I did just admit that I peed my pants.

I can't lie.

It's a fault of mine.

OK, I can lie.

I just think it's even funnier that during all that at some point I peed my pants.



Laugh with me!

Let me recap:

My gears aren't working, I think I'm cool, I try to hop a curb, I don't, I crash, I pee, I go home.


Ya, my foot still hurts. I think it's just a sprain, a slight sprain, and my hand hurts a little bit again.

But, hey, I am grateful I had a jacket tied around my waist so no one would see that I peed my pants because that would be embarrassing if everyone knew I peed my pants...



Day 257 of 365 Days of Up

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