Monday, February 2, 2009

Just words

So, I have a had a lot on my mind lately and keep thinking that I need to put them down... So here it is for all of you to see:

I went to a distant family members funeral last Friday. It is funny because when I was in high school there were a brother and sister that I just adored and did everything I could to make sure we could be friends. Well, one day my mom met them when we were all at the ball park for something and she informed us that, I and these two others, were 2nd (or so) cousins! How crazy! No wonder I was drawn to them--we are family! But, really, they are just GREAT people. When I heard that their dad had passed away, my heart was touched and I knew I should go. I was reminded of how incredible this family really is. The man who died was my mom's first cousin and he left behind his ex-wife and twelve kids. What a beautiful funeral it was. The kids did such a great job—the singing, the thoughts and the overall spirit of it. My heart was full knowing that I have had the chance to have these people in my life, even if only for brief times throughout it.

I am really excited to be going to Washington D.C. in March for Advocacy day for Fragile X Syndrome. It is a huge deal for me to fly again, and to face senators in my lobbying efforts for FXS. There are times I am extremely overwhelmed with being over the Fragile X Association here, and then there are times when I am so excited to get the word out to make a difference for future generations that I just get fired up. We (me and the other two FXS mothers of the local FXS Association) are also planning a big seminar for the end of May this year. That is a daunting task in and of itself ,since it is to be for the entire state's educators and doctors. I don't know that we will get everyone we want to, but, we will try our hardest.

I will pose a question: Does life ever get easier at any point? I keep thinking that I am over the hump and then another big mountain shows up in the near distance. Seriously, if it isn't one thing then it is another--do you feel that way or is it just me? I think the angels upstairs are getting a kick out of turning the TRIAL DIAL on HIGH. Just kidding! (Trial Dial, who comes of with these goofy ideas? Oh, me! It is late and I thought it was funny, but, tomorrow I will look at it and say how strange that I would think that it was funny. Although, I do believe I will laugh anyway, remembering that last night as I wrote it how funny I thought it was and continued to ramble on and on about it, hoping that someone else would get a good laugh too...)

As I am sitting here typing, 9 is in his bedroom (supposed to be sleeping) talking out loud to himself. He does it quite often. I am not sure if it is anxiety or if he is having dreams. The Dr. and his EEG say possibly it is because of seizures, mild ones of course. When they are mild there really is nothing worth doing other than just watching it and snapping him out of it when you can. He often does early in the morning when we are deciding what he wants for breakfast. Sometimes he does it in Sacrament meeting at church—it doesn't bother me, but, I do wonder if it bothers others. No one seems to mind/notice--our ward is so wonderful to my kids!

I can't imagine being a teenager at this time. I watch 13 and 17 and stand in awe at their strength to stand for what they believe is right. It is not easy. But, they seem to make it look as if it isn't a problem to do what is right. I am proud of them.

There is a concert that we are doing in the Stake that titled Joseph Smith the Prophet. I tried out for a solo part last night. I haven't tried out for a solo (or anything for that matter) since I was in high school! I was so scared—weird—I perform all the time and I was scared! We'll see if I make it next Sunday. I'll keep you posted.

4 remarks:

julianne orth said...

I think all of us have our trials, but some of us definately get it poured on us more than others. I always wonder if life is going to get easier, but I don't think it does... Every time i feel like my life is in control, something else happens, but I guess that is what makes us strong...or so they tell me:)

Rochelle said...

I always feel like my life is crazy!!! I don't feel like I have many trials, I never have felt that way. But I always think life feels "hard":) I always think it will be easier when my kids are older, but most people tell me it gets harder, just a different hard. AHHH I love it though:) Right now in my life is what I have been waiting for my whole life, so I try to keep a good attitude (doesn't always happen:) Even my Senior Water Aerobics class complains all the time because of aches and pains, and they seem to have nothing going on and still think life is hard. OK I am rambling. Keep up the good work!!! Good luck at the tryout!! I wouldn't stress, I'm sure you'll make it!

W said...

I like the trial dial. I wish mine would get turned down and then accidentally brake. You see where I'm going with this, ya, NO where! Won't happen. Dig in the heals, which are on sale at Payless, and bring it on.

Lisa said...

TRIAL DIAL !!! You are too much! And yes, your funny bone instincts were on because I laughed out loud. You are signed up for a lot of stuff girl. One moment at a time is all I can say. Good luck with the Fragile X seminar, a worthy and important cause.