Monday, June 16, 2008

Am I still afloat??

Man, I just have to say that life can really be tough sometimes. You think you have it all under control and then I am not sure if you just get tired of being strong or you just wake up and realize where you are. Know what I mean??

I do have fun with my kids, I laugh at all that happens--but sometimes I just fall apart. You all know those days, the I-just-can't-be-strong-today days. With 2's speech therapy and occupational therapy twice a month and play group twice a week--it gets overwhelming. All the things I am supposed to be doing for her on top of that and I just don't seem to find the time I need to do that because I also have 8 to worry about keeping on top of his goals for school. With 8 it is not a matter of just telling him to do his homework and then he sits down to do it--it is grueling work on both parts for me and him just to get through reading one page with 10 words on it, and then to even think of finishing the other 8 pages seems such a daunting task. He tries so hard. It is amazing to watch him--it does not come easy for him--math, reading, writing. It is so much work. 2 tries so hard when she works with her Speech and OT that she becomes physically tired after the 60 minute session.

It is amazing to me to think that the things most of us do so easily, almost without any thought, can be such a struggle and then, finally, an incredible success for these two kids.

Did Heavenly Father know what he was doing when he sent these two wonderful children to me? I always hear, "Oh, you must be a great mother to be able to raise these two special children." Well, I don't know about that, but what I do know is that they are raising me higher, by teaching me about what is important.

So, I tell myself that... "Heavenly Father sent them to me, he won't give us any trials we cannot handle." So, I guess what these bad days come down to is... do I really believe that He will help me? Do I really believe?

On days like this I question, and then I ponder and remember that yes, I do. But, faith must be tried for it to grow. So, in short, I guess today was not such a "bad" day after all. It was a faith growing day.

Even in stormy waters we must have faith.

Painting Posted Above
"Our Refuge and Strength" by Morgan Weistling

3 remarks:

Anonymous said...

Hey I like that...calling bad days faith-growing days...unless it's just simply a bad day I guess! Sounds like your kids are strong like you!
Btw, if it's okay, I'll call you next week to see if there's a day we can come hang out. This is our last crazy week for awhile!

Ethington Family said...

I love that picture. It inspires me just looking at it

amyandrandy said...

I was thinking the same thing Amber was...that is going to be my new way of thinking of a bad day. THANKS!