Bigger Than the Dentist or Prom!!!

I have a lot to be happy about.

I really do.

So sometimes it is really hard for me to figure out why it is so hard for me to get out of my bed.

There are days when all I can do is get the kids ready for school and I sleep in between each one.

It's like I can't face the day... so I sleep through it.

Ranger seems to understand this and comes to snuggle me when I'm sleeping. He always snuggles into the crook of my legs.

That fur ball always keeps me company, whether I want him to or not...

Yesterday was a beautiful day so I forced myself to go on a hike.

I used to hate hiking, I mean, really hate it.

Poor Marc.

He loves hiking and I would go with him and even backpack... I just didn't like it much.

Ever since my back got better last year, hiking and the outdoors has been my way of de-stressing and I actually love it.

Go figure.

I usually take pictures on my hikes 1) because I am proud of myself for going and 2) I love the scenery!

Yesterday's hike with the view of Timpanogos behind me

Today's hike

And, of course, since Ranger loves to be with me he goes hiking too.

Sometimes I am not exactly sure what puts me in a state of not wanting to get out of bed, but sometimes I have a slight idea.

My life stresses me out a bit.

OK, I'll be honest... my kids stress me out a bit.

They're not horrible kids or anything, I just have a lot on my mind as far as trying to make sure all their needs are met and what-not. I got a call this morning about services for Brother and I had to sit on the phone for 30 minutes and tell them all the things our son can't do, won't do, doesn't do or will never do.

It got me.

I started to walk toward my bed with a heavy heart and heavier eyelids.

But, somehow I pushed myself to get out of the house to enjoy the sunshine on my hike, just as I had done the day before.

Ranger was practically hopping up and down when I pulled out his leash.

As I made my way up the beginning of the hill I felt like I was too tired and to just turn around. Then I made a goal to get just a bit higher than I had the day before in the same time frame, and for whatever reason, it worked.

I like hiking alone sometimes because I can just think, ponder, wonder and question.

I found myself setting aside all the things Brother doesn't, can't, won't do and realized how amazing it is that I was going to be preparing him for his first ever... wait for it... DATE!!!

Ya!

I said "DATE!"

That HAS to be better than Prom OR the Dentist!

I honestly didn't think Brighton would go on a date unless I had arranged it with a girl in the neighborhood or offered to pay for the whole thing or something, but a sweet girl asked him to the Spring Fling all on her own accord!!! I didn't ask her to. She just contacted me to ask if it was OK for her to ask him.

I was asked this question at a track meet where Brother's class was included and I had just witnessed Brother doing what he does when he gets attention, and that is to fall apart, hide and scream.

That's his amazing teacher, who knows him so well and encourages him in ways that are completely amazing. It just goes to show you that not every day is peaches and roses with Brother and that when I say he melts, I really mean it. This was his reaction to the award that was given to him for participating.

After seeing him react this way I made sure to warn the girl who was asking him on this date, that he might freak out when she asks him and may even say "no" to her when she asked. She assured me that she knows what Brother is like and that it's OK with her and she still wanted to ask him out to the dance.

Lo and behold, this was about the same reaction she got when she came by the house with his favorite candy and asked him to come with her to the Spring Fling:

So, of course, Marc and I worry that he isn't going to handle it all very well, and that the date will be the most miserable experience of this girls life and wondering if we should just give her a way out of it.

It's hard to know how far to push/encourage your child, special needs or not.

I stayed up late Monday night after my play to put together a cute little gift to answer Brother's date and was so excited to show it to him in the morning.

"Out of all the fish in the sea, I'm so happy you chose me!" with some candy fish and sharks... it was so fun to put that together. It took me back to the days of helping Bryan and Kelsey with their date answers for the fun school dances!

He wasn't really impressed.

He didn't even want to give it to her because he was nervous about handing it to her.

I sent it in his backpack hoping it would get to his date somehow. (It did, thankfully.)

It's a little discouraging knowing that someone is doing something so nice for your child and your child doesn't reciprocate.

Then I get pictures like this from his teacher on their class field trip to the zoo and I am elated to see him just being a 16-year-old guy hanging out with friends.

I really need to focus on these things more often so that I can get myself out of bed.

Our Life really is good.

In fact, just a moment ago, I had spaced an activity for Sister and her little friend had forgotten too, and rushed off to not be too late, so her brother came by suggested that he walk her to the activity since his sister had already started.

How thoughtful.

Seriously!

I can't trust Sister yet to walk alone and this young boy, knowing this, took care of her by walking with her!

There are so many acts of service, so many kind deeds...

so many reasons to get out of bed.

I need to remember that.

The moral of this story has 4 G's:

Get out of bed,

Go do something,

focus on the Good,

and be Grateful.

I even made a printable for you in case you need to hang it on your nightstand (wink).

Acting Up

I am amazed that I have been so neglectful as to write about my whole theater experience with "Saturday's Warrior!"

It never ceases to amaze me that you can gather a large group of 20-40 strangers into one room and tell them to sing and act in front of each other and watch as they all become close.

It's, honestly, slightly intimidating at first. You don't know these people. They don't know you and now you are supposed to put on a show for hundreds of people and make them believe you're all a family...

That's theater.

No, not acting like you're a family.

Becoming a completely nonfunctional, real one—mixed with nerves, excitement, talent, random singing moments, heart-to-hearts, near misses, embarrassing moments, laughs, tears, fears and vulnerabilities all with people you didn't know until 6 weeks ago.

Choreography Rehearsal

Staging Rehearsal

Silly Selfies at a post-rehearsal lunch party!

First fitting for my matron costume

Documenting the costume details

backstage silly

Dress rehearsal selfies

 Then there are the performances...

The pay-off for all of our hard work is hearing the audience laugh, cheer, holler, clap and sniffle. It's like magic to have an audience in front of us.

I love the "meet and greet" after the show, especially when I get to see those I know and love who have come to see me!

Me and my sister, Kirsten

Marc's parents and his cousins

Of course, my sexy hubby—he has seen it twice.

My mom and aunts and uncles! (My mom and dad came too, but I couldn't find the picture I took with them.)

My mom got me some fun gifts to tell me I did a great job—I'm all smiles obviously!

Getting a picture with the original vinyl which is one of the three my dad owns...

I love theater because I get to make friends I may never have had before, have experiences that I can't recreate and I get to dance, sing and act for people on stage. I LOVE making people smile and laugh!'

I love smiling and laughing with others too, so going out after the show to laugh about missed lines, silly blunders or just backstage craziness is also treasured.

This is my 5th play with the Scera and the second year ever being on a stage as an actor and not an entertainer with my family.

I'll always treasure the first experience I ever had being in a play and still try to stay in touch with friends from that show, but I am amazed that EVERY show I have been blessed to be a part of has changed my life for the better in some way and I've learned so much from so many people.

Addams Family The Musical

Pinkalicious (Theater for Youth)

Mary Poppins

It's A Wonderful Life

I made a promise to Marc that I wouldn't audition for any shows this summer so that I could do more backpacking with him and camping with the kids.

It's a good trade off, but there's a tad bit I'm gonna really miss about theater this summer.

I just hope I don't get too rusty over the summer and flop my auditions in the future...

Did you kill it Daddy?

I was upstairs getting ready and I could here some faint whining... I thought it must be one of the neighbor kids so I just passed it off.

Then I heard more whining and I thought maybe Sister was outside and got hurt so I went in the back yard and there was no one there, then I went in the front yard and it was the same.

As I walked back to my room I noticed Sister was in her room and Baby was with her... so I went back to getting ready.

Then I tuned into the whining again and this time it seemed to be more definite and closer, "Mommyyyyyyyyyy! Help me!!"

I realized it was Brother.

I forgot he had been taking a shower so I thought maybe he had slipped or something so I ran down the stairs and he seemed fine physically, just emotionally upset.

He reluctantly pointed to his bathroom and my hearing was now acute and I heard water running...

"Oh no, he filled to the tub to far and it's overflowing," I thought in my head, but when I walked in the bathroom I could see the water was coming from the toilet... "???"

Brother started crying, "I tried to fix it. I'm sorry momma."

Then I noticed the toilet tank lid laying awkwardly on the floor and just above that was a big hole in the toilet tank and the water was flowing all over the floor!

I started throwing towels down and then realized I could shut the water off to the toilet.

Once I had the water under control I asked Brother what had happened.

He explained to me that the toilet wasn't flushing right so he took the lid off so he could fix it...

There was part of me that was so proud of him for problem solving, and the other part of me that was like, "Really? ... Really?" (sigh)

I'm not sure who taught him to lift the tank lid to fix the toilet, but they need a high five and a slap to the face... just saying...

Anyway, that was about 2 or 3 weeks ago.

We have not had a working toilet in the basement.

It has been missed.

It's the little things, people—the little things.

Anyway, yesterday Marc and I went toilet shopping for our date... I know you're all jealous... I guess it was just one of those crappy dates.... Ha! Ha! Ah! I'm killing it today!

Anyway...

So we made it the husband and wife project today to take the old toilet out and put the new one in.

I know, it doesn't sound like a good time, but it was actually great and we laughed and teased and worked together. I'd have to say that I wouldn't mind putting in another toilet with my hubby... well, maybe a different project would work too.

Anyway, toward the end of getting the old toilet removed we came to the gross part, at least I thought so, where there is a wax seal at the bottom of the toilet that keeps water from leaking out.

The thing about that wax ring is that it gets well-used.

At least this one looked like it.

I wish I would have taken a picture of it... but it was black and sloppy and just nasty looking.

I had come upstairs for something while Marc was working on that part and he had come upstairs to throw it all away.

Sister say the used, old, wax toilet seal in her dad's hand and her sensory defensiveness kicked in and she was immediately disgusted by its looks, "Dad!!! What is that!" She queried with panic on her face.

"It's a seal, sweetie!"

"Aaaaaahhhh!!!! No!! No!!! Daddy, No!"

Both Marc and I rolled our eyes as we are so used to Sister over-reacting to EVERYTHING, and we told her to calm down it was, "just a seal!"

She kept the panicked look on her face, tried to calm herself enough to speak without screaming and asked, "Did you kill it Daddy?"

...

I calmly turned to her after I let it process for a bit, "Not an animal seal. It's not and animal sweetie, not a seal like an otter. It's a seal for the toilet that keeps out the water."

"Oh."

Panic removed.

She was able to calmly go on with her yearbook reading and I looked at Marc and we both tried not to chuckle too loudly.

I'd be scared too if my dad had taken out a dead seal from my toilet...

Oh, life is funny!

There is Beauty All Around

I got to see some very beautiful things today.

It was so wonderful because not only were all the tulips in bloom and the scent of flowers swam through the air, but I was able to spend time with my friend.

I've never gone shooting with a friend... at least not with a camera anyway.

I am amazed at God's creations.

It truly shows his love for us.

He wants us to be surrounded by beauty, seek out beauty and capture it for everyone to enjoy.

That makes me feel pretty special.

But, I also love realizing the simple beauty...

The simple beauty of watching my daughter color in her coloring book while she waits for dinner to be ready.

There is beauty all around.

You have to look for it, seek it, earnestly desire to find it.

Better Than Prom!!

Last Saturday night seemed to be Prom for the entire world!

OK, maybe I have a small world, but prom pictures were flying up all over Facebook and Instagram.

I can't even explain to you how extremely excited that I was able to post a picture of our handsome son at prom.

I mean just look at this guy!

I honestly didn't think that was going to happen... at least not this year.

Brother's teacher is pretty much the most amazing person ever and had arranged all the events leading up to prom and getting to prom and it was a total success for all of Brother's class. Some of the guys even took dates. In the words of one of Brother's friends, "I had to ask someone else this time because I want to give everyone the chance to date me."

I love that he said that.

We typically look at kids with special needs and think how lucky they are to hang out with "us" and I love seeing those with special needs seeing life as, "you get to hang out with 'me.'" Not in a cocky way, nope, these kids are so sweet they honestly couldn't be conceded, just genuine.

Brother's friends tried hard to talk him in asking a girl out to Prom, but he wasn't having it, and I was so happy that he was willing to go, that I didn't want to push it any further.

Mrs. G said she could tell that Brother was kind of resenting his reluctance to ask a date as he looked around to see that everyone else had a certain someone to dance with. Luckily, one of his friends was willing to share his date and she held the hand of each boy as they danced.

There are so many wonderful people in this world.

Sometimes we get so caught up in all the dumb things going on and forget to revel in the beauty of human nature that surrounds us every day.

You wanna know something that was even bigger than prom?

Do you remember me telling you about my kids visiting the dentist last week?

Well, Brother did so well at that visit (a complete 180 from previous times) that Brother decided on his own that he was willing to try to be good for the dentist when he got his cavities worked on the following week. He really didn't like being put under anesthesia for the last dental work that needed to be done so he wanted to be brave.

I took him to the dentist for the work to be done yesterday in the late morning.

I had to pick him up from school and he wasn't too happy about going, in fact he was quite terrified.

He was still showing his anxiety as we drove, as I parked the car and as we waited in the lobby.

I had Baby with us as she had not gone to school just yet, so Marc was going to stop by to take her to school at the right time.

They called Brother's name and he panicked and I had to drag/carry/push/wrangle him into the room and the dental chair.

It wasn't pretty.

I don't know that I handled it really well.

I was frustrated because we had talked about this, prepared for it and it was even his decision to do it this way. I was calm and everything, I think I just lost hope too soon. I just "knew" we were going to be making another appointment for the hospital to have him get his dental work done under anesthesia.

Then Marc came to get Baby.

I told Brother, who was still quite nervous, that I needed to take Baby to Marc so that she could go to school. He nervously agreed to sit there alone with the dentist's assistant while I ran her out.

When I came back into the lobby, I could hear Brother talking quite happily in the other room.

No screaming, yelling and he didn't come sprinting out of the room so I felt impressed to wait quietly in the lobby. I let the assistants know that I was there if he needed me, but thought that maybe he would do better without me there.

The dentist came half-way through and told me how impressed he was with Brother and how he was able to talk him through the procedure of filling the easiest of his three cavities, take baby steps, and he was able to calm himself. He asked what I thought about him doing the other two that needed to be done still and I said, "You know what, lets end on a happy note and we'll just make an appointment for another time. I'm so proud of how well, he's done I don't want to push him too far."

So we went back to tell Brother the good news that we were done for the day and that we would work on the other ones another time. Brother shook his head "no" and let us know that he wanted to just get it all done now.

I was so surprised and proud of him.

This, by far, is a huge leap forward for Brother!

I mean prom was a huge social and sensory experience, but getting work done at the dentist is overwhelming socially, emotionally, physically and for sensory.

He was taking this like a champ.

I almost cried I was so proud of him.

I asked if he wanted me to stay and he told me to go and grabbed his dental assistant's blue-gloved hand and settled in, ready for the next step.

It tugged at my heart strings.

When your kids with special needs are just small you really have no idea what the future holds.

I know that often I think it can't get any better and will only get harder, but Brother proved me wrong yesterday.

He was alone in the dentists office, willingly getting the work done that was needed.

It was a miracle, really.

If Brother's previous dentists were reading this they would quickly testify to that, I don't think they even believed he would get to this point of staying in the chair willingly getting the work done.

I do have to say, though, that Dr. Shepherd has a real way with kids like Brother and I was truly impressed at his willingness to try to give Brother the benefit of the doubt.

I snuck a few pictures of Brother getting his dental work done.

Look at him holding the assistant's hand. So precious. That's usually my job to give him comfort by holding his hand... maybe prom taught him a few moves to his benefit (ha ha)

This, indeed, was bigger than Prom and it almost looks like he even had a date for this one!

Humbly Proud?

Because I feel more complete when I have time to write in my journal, here I am...

I told Marc that I'd be up soon and here I am blogging away.

I think he'll understand.

I'll make it quick since he's waiting for me.

I just have to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father today for all the blessings in my life.

The biggest one I just have to mention before ending is that

BROTHER WENT TO HIS HIGH SCHOOL PROM!

He didn't take a date or anything, but he went with his group from his Special Needs Class and some of them took dates and he just went for the fun of it.

It wasn't easy getting him ready or motivated to get ready, but he did it.

His teacher was sweet enough to pick him up because he didn't want me to take him.

She was so great and texted me pictures throughout the night since I couldn't be there.

He gets the "looks" from his daddy

I couldn't be there.

I was in my play.

I was happy to be in my play, but I felt guilty for being there at the same time that he was experiencing a big stepping stone in his life... and mine.

Mrs. G also sent a video of him dancing his heart out when we were about at intermission and I was so excited to show all my theater friends while my eyes welled up with happy/thankful tears.

I'm so proud.

I'm so humbled.

I know, at the same time, strange.

It's a mom thing.

Piggy at the Dentist

The dentist is always an interesting experience with our kids.

It always has been.

I'm pretty good at laying down on them in the dental chair whilst holding their arms under me and telling them "it will all be OK."

I'm sure we are quite a site.

Brother has gotten too big for this technique and last year was the first time we had him sedated for dental work.

We have a great pediatric dentist who is so good to work with Brother and thankfully, Brother has started to get used to his office, him, and his staff so he is actually able to sit through a cleaning without my "assistance." I had to record his last visit because I was so impressed. The one thing I wish I would have gotten was his loudly teasing Dr. Shephard, "You put me out Mister!! That was you!" he yelled, laughing and pointing his finger. I'm beyond grateful that he has a sense of humor about that part.

Here's the little bits I got:




Sister has always done fairly well at the dentist so we have just been taking her to a regular one, but she has also never had a cavity so she hasn't needed any major dental work.

Well, the last visit they found a cavity and they were unsure whether they could do the work on her and suggested we take her to our pediatric dentist that Baby and Brother go to.

So we did.

The just checked her so they could get to know her and how they would need to try to approach the work to be done. We have scheduled for her little cavity to be worked on there in the office since it is an easy one. I'll hope for the best.

In the chair he was so cute, looking all round-cheeked and happy as she watched her selection of "Property Brothers" on NETFLIX on the TV above her. (She LOVES that show and I laugh whenever I here her pretending in her room to give people price quotes and talk them into going with the natural wood floorings--it's a hoot!)

I took a couple of pictures of her too.

She's lost a lot of teeth lately... lots of room to work! and a poor tooth fairy!

You want to know the MOST impressive thing about that visit was actually the fact that all 3 kids were there with me for her appointment!!! All three! Brother sat in the waiting room with his headphones (I'm sure he made for an entertaining sight as he waves his arms in the air to the beat of his Shania Twain). Baby sat next to me watching Sister so I was really happy about that knowing that Baby's dental checkup was the following morning.

Then the morning of Baby's appointment came.

I was elated when upon walking in she cheerfully went with the assistant to her chair, laid down on it and picked a movie.

I was kind of in disbelief as I typically have to wrestle her to the chair, usually bumping my forehead on their light or X-ray machine in the process.

She just got up, laid down, smiled and said, "Barbie."

She had seen her sister do this and it was all old hat to her... or so it seemed.

I think she must have zoned out for the part where they were cleaning Sister's teeth because as soon as the spinner toothbrush was turned on she began to panic.

The dental assistant was a gem and helped comfort Baby by letting her touch the toothbrush and taste the toothpaste and all that stuff. Baby seemed fine until it went into her mouth.

That is when the light swinging and X-ray bumping ensued.

I'm telling you, I can't get through a day with our kids without some kind of personal damage.

Tee hee!

The good news is, this was the first dental visit where Baby actually got some of her teeth cleaned!

With my holding-down skills the dentist was able to scrape the tarter from her teeth and observe enough to tell me she's looking good.

After the dentist was done and I was holding Baby to comfort her I started joking with Dr. Shephard as to the great workout I just had as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. I am sure that in those circumstances the sweat isn't all exertion, but a little bit of embarrassment mixed in.

Not embarrassment of my child... no, no, we are passed that at this point, I've done this long enough, embarrassment that I might look a little silly wrestling my kid who's one fourth my size as if she were a 200 pound greased piggy!

Sorry, I forgot to take pictures of Baby at the dentist, I should have at least thought to get one at the beginning.