Goals, Resolutions and Choices.

Even when I was young I was taught to make goals.

Little ones.

Big ones.

It didn't matter.

Just set goals so that I would accomplish something.

I hate setting goals.

Well now, I do anyway.

When I was younger I would set a goal and "voila" I'd achieve them:

Run hurdles in high school track-- check
Run for Student Council and make it in-- check
Beat my dad in a race-- check
Read the Book of Mormon-- check, check, check
Memorize the Articles of Faith-- check
Grow out my hair-- check
Stay in shape (too easy)-- check
Make the high school basketball team-- check, check, check
Earn my Young Women's Medallion-- check
Get straight A's-- check
Get a scholarship to college-- check
Make new friends-- check
Get married-- check
Have children-- ... wait a while....
Find out why you can't have children-- ... wait a while....

Anyway, do you get the picture?

It was like I had been fooled my whole life thinking that all I had to do was set a goal and "boom!" I'd achieve it.

If I didn't achieve the goal it was because I hadn't worked hard enough, didn't want it bad enough, or ... well... I just don't remember not achieving a goal when I was younger... I'm 90 percent sure that might be the rose colored glasses I have to view my past through, but I had so much time to focus on myself and what I wanted to accomplish.

I set goals all the time now and I laugh at myself for doing it.

Setting personal goals that are completely for me, don't seem to stand a chance against all that needs to be accomplished just to be a responsible adult, wife and mother.

I know I made this announcement that I would write more often in my blog and "BAM!!"

I failed.

I thought it was such a simple goal.

But, I cursed myself.

I should never have said it was a goal.

Goal? Resolution? What the difference? Really Rachael, did you think you were tricking yourself into succeeding?

Ha!

Well, instead of making goals thinking I will check them off like I did as a young teenager, I am going to make strides forward. I mean, heck, I'm lucky to get me and the kids out the door on time every morning... I don't want to wear myself out!

Yep, I am deciding today that my life's success cannot be measured in goals accomplished, but instead, as strides forward... happy moments... choosing happy.

My dear friend gave me a gift. It's this cute little sign with a simple motto:

"Choose Happy"

So I'm just sticking with that.

I am going to continue to make a choice every day.

I've been doing it my whole life.

Some times successfully and sometimes miserable-y, but I choose it most of the time.

No goals.

No resolutions.

Just choices.

Maybe I can do that... but I am not going to make it a goal.

(OK, let's all just face it, I just want to make myself feel better about not writing in my blog as often as I had  hoped.)

((BUT, I did take my daughter by myself to Florida for a week! AND I got a job working at SCERA as a scenic painter!))

photo by me, courtesy of SCERA

photo by me, courtesy of SCERA

photo by me, courtesy of SCERA