Once I got into the chapel, I cried a little because I was so disappointed in myself for not being on time and missing out on a special moment for our family, specifically my brother and his wife.
I said "sorry" a few times, but it didn't seem to make me feel any better about the fact that I missed this important event.
"Sorry" is an interesting word that can wield so much power yet leave a person feeling helpless and vulnerable at the same time.
I say sorry to my kids a lot.
They sorry to us a lot.
Sometimes it is just a word.
Sometimes it is a feeling.
Sometimes it is an action.
Brother will bite me in his moment of anxiety and frustration and then quickly, with tear-filled eyes, he will say he is sorry over and over again and you feel that he is sincere in his disappointment for his actions.
Sister will say "sorry" quickly if she knows she may lose a privilege and you know it is only to save her own self from being in trouble.
Baby says "sorry" with a big smile on her face because she thinks it is just a game to play so that she can laugh that she is sorry about not being sorry...
Recently we received a letter in the mail reminding us of a specific kind of "sorry" that demands a lot of us on our parts.
It's one of those things that gets really complicated and a little ugly because the word, "sorry," doesn't seem to cut it in this situation.
The game of "sorry" is a tricky one.
We must be humble enough to apologize, but we must also be strong enough to not take more of the blame than is ours, and we have to be willing, able and bold enough to accept "sorry" in circumstances that may have affected us for life.
Years ago Marc's mom started to play "Sorry" with the Brother and Sister. The actual board game, "Sorry." They fell in love with it right away and it has since been their go-to game.
They won't play it with me though... it's mostly a Grandma Lynne thing.
And that's OK.
I am glad they have their thing with her that stands out and creates special memories.
Sister asked Grandma Lynne to play after dinner yesterday and Marc captured a few pictures. It was such an UP to see Sister so giddily playing a board game with her grandma.
I love these pictures! I know they will be among the treasured ones.
I just hope that through my life actions and choices I can teach them, efficiently, the real life game of "sorry."
Sometimes things are easier written than done...
Day 305 of 365 Days of Up