Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Laptop and Parenting Issues

My laptop broke.

I thought the battery just died, but nope, it's toast.

I had to pay to get all my stuff off the hard drive and that was frustrating.

So now I am blogging on my old, old, old laptop... which really doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's the way I have to use it that is funny/annoying.

The screen has a glitch of some sort so in order to type with two hands I have to sit up on my bed, lay the laptop in front of me and hold the screen at a certain pressure with my left foot in order to keep the screen on so I can see...

Here, let me take a picture... just a second... because this is all going to be tricky because I also can't leave the computer unattended for more than 30 seconds or it shuts itself down.

OK, here it is... I know the suspense was killing you!

Ha! I love our life! It's never dull!

I was getting my phone fixed yesterday and when I came to pick it up there was a mother carrying her child (maybe 5 or 6 years old) torpedo style to put her in the van to leave. I immediately recognized the stress on the mom's face and the sound of the child's rants... she was dealing with a child with special needs. I had a flash in my mind of what I must look like so often to others when my children are having issues and all the times I've had to just avoid the judging stares and awkward glances. So, because of my own experiences, I knew it was best to let Mom take care of the situation the way she knew how and not to judge her in any way.

I went into the store, had a nice exchange to get my repaired phone and happily walked out of the store and turned the corner to see the same little girl now pacing back and forth and grunting and screaming. I looked to see where Mom was and she was sitting on the front of her van and was on her phone... now let me pause here... Some people may see this situation and think, "Oh mom gave up and just decided to check her Facebook likes while her daughter has a tantrum."

I had another scenario in my head, like one that I would be in, "Uh oh, the little one is having a major melt down and being in the car is making it worse. All I can do is wait for her to make the decision to get into the car on her own so that we can both be safe on the drive. I have to inform so-and-so to let them know I will be late or possibly have to cancel today's plans so instead of calling so my little one can here me talking about her, I will make sure to send a text."

I bet a lot of  you out there wouldn't have thought about the situation in that way.

I encouragingly and empathetically spoke to the mom from across the way and assured her that I understood and have been in the same situation a few times myself and to just hang in there. She looked at me through almost-tears and said, "What else can I do when she won't stay in her seat belt and is putting us both in danger with her melt down?" and then gave a nervous chuckle and nodded towards her daughter and I witnessed the young one now removing items of clothing one at time and throwing them.

I wanted to hug the mom and tell her it would all be OK and that this is just a blip in time that would soon be overshadowed by the good things.

But, mostly, I wanted to write this post in hopes that more people would have a different perspective on situations like these and have sympathy and respect and not pass judgement or scorn. Sometimes you can't really help with the situation, but, at least showing sympathy and respect can be strengthening in to mother in these similar situations.

I can't even tell you how many times I have had total strangers say things to me that are judgmental and degrading. I'll never forget a time when Sister was having a complete melt down in the middle of a small store and  in her fits of anxiety she had knocked over an entire display of something that scattered all across the floor in all directions. I was trying to hold onto Sister all while still holding a tiny Baby and the stress of the meltdowns that had happened before was all coming to the surface and I was holding back tears as  tried to pick up the mess of what was my life in front of me. I saw a woman walking toward me and my tears were halted as I took it as an act of kindness that she was coming toward me to help me with the mess and girls.


She was coming to give me a piece of her mind,

"People shouldn't even bring kids like that into a store at all!"

And then she walked away.

I hope you are NEVER that person.

You don't have any idea what a person has gone through in a day or even the last few minutes so try to be understanding and kind.

You just never know who out there might be like my laptop and just hanging in there only with the support of someone to keep your lights on and your body from shutting down.

Be the support that keeps their light from dimming.

Check in on someone every so often to make sure they haven't shut down.

My UP today is that I am grateful for my opportunity in life to understand more deeply what some people might be going through.

My other UP today is that I am actually grateful for that right now.


Day 315 of 365 Days of Up

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