Thursday, September 24, 2009

My life is a sitcom!!

What do a clock, spatula, ladle, glucose, liquid handsoap and blood have in common??

My day so far.

I am seriously laughing right now because it is just well... funny. I am not complaining here, I am laughing, it is seriously just hilarious and it could be a sitcom that I would watch and laugh my guts out. Let me 'splain:

4 went to bed at 10pm last night after a bath, popcorn and a movie—all routine, so she should sleep well, right? Wrong? (Apparently.) She woke up at 11pm and I was able to settle her down by 11:30 to sleep again. Then at 12:27am (I have a clock that shines up on the ceiling so in big red letters I could see clearly what time it was.) she woke again but, was ready to wake up. What! No, seriously, she wanted a drink and "People" which is her favorite movie lately—those "little people" movies for kids. Anyway, I some how talked her out of that and was able to settle her down again by about 1am. So me and my awkward pregnant contracting belly waddle ourselves back to my room like a drunk person running into my doorway (no, really I did) and plop into my bed. How do you plop when your are pregnant? You just lean over and let your belly lead the way. Anyways, at 2:28am 4 decided it was time to come sleep in Mom and Dad's bed. She didn't sleep. She laid still but didn't close her eyes. Then at 4:30 am when 17 cam in to wake up Dad so he could get her to Road (yes we are getting closer to the license) by 5:45 am, 4 decided it was high time to be up and running around. Hence, the reason I have been up since 4:30am. Because a four-year-old girl who has been up all night is not about to give up now—it's party time. So began my day.

I got both the younger kids ready for school and then headed out to my Doctor's appointment. Yahoo 30 weeks! So I go in to get weighed and they ask me if I took my glucose test three weeks ago when I was in last. I, at this point, am trying to stay calm and ask, "Hmmm?" Anyway, long story short, apparently someone at the lab decided that since my blood sample wasn't in a lavender tube that they would just throw it away! OK, all you women who have been pregnant before—this is is something you all remember. The horrible 10oz. of orange drink you have to drink within five minutes and then an hour later have your blood drawn—ya, that one. Apparently I get to do that again!!! Baaah! I HATE having my blood drawn!! Anyway, so with that on my mind I talk to my doctor about why I am having Braxton Hicks so often and proceed to explain the stresses at home. And guess what he tells me in a nutshell, "Sell your house and move." Tee heee!!!! We both laughed! And I believe some of you understand why he would suggest that...

So then I go to the grocery store and get a few things for the upcoming weekend. The store I go to usually has these great clearance items and I some things that really brightened my day and helped me forget the whole having-to-get-my-blood-drawn-again thing. And one of the good deals was liquid hand soap for dirt cheap, like 75% off the original price so I was all over that one and got the only two gallons that were there.

Then I even splurged and stopped by Wendy's and picked up crispy chicken deluxe value meal. Mmmmmm, it was delicious and I was savoring every bite as I hurried home to make sure I was there on time to get 4 on the bus. And what do you know, I pulled into the drive just moments before the bus pulled up. Ahhh, perfect timing. As 4 gets off the bus I hand her my soda and notice that she has a different pair of pants on. I think to myself, "Hmm, she must have had an accident. Oh well, no biggy. Ahhh life is good, I remembered a change of clothes for her and I just had a yummy chicken sandwich."

I reach into the trunk of the car to start unloading groceries. I pick up the plastic bad that contains the two gallons of soap and I feel a splash on my really cute heeled sandals that I got at Payless for $1.50. I look down and it is orange and thick, and there is more of it coming from the bag I am holding. I look in the bag and realize that one of the bottles is missing its lid and about half of it is gone. I check in the car to see if that is where it spilled and I see the lid so I try to put the lid on, well, apparently the bad could handle the pressure of the lid and spring a bigger hole and the half gallon of soap proceeded to pour out on the driveway and onto my feet and the side of the car! I quickly set it down and run in to get some towels. I run back out (in my heels and pregnant, mind you) and realize that there is just too much soap to clean up with some towels and I realize that there is still a lot of the soap in the bag and I sure as heck am not going to let my good deal go completely to waste. So I run (if you can call it that at this point) and get a ladle and a spatula. I started to ladle the soap from the bag into the open container and because of my awkwardness and instability at a half kneel I keep missing and the orange soap continues to slither down the sides of the bottle. I start to laugh out loud there in my driveway trying to scrape up the sides so I can salvage what soap I can. I think maybe I may have been able to scrape up about two cups of soap out of the bag—I am feeling pretty good about myself. So then I take the two bottles of soap into the kitchen sink. I am just so disappointed about how much soap there is on the driveway and think I can't re-use that to wash our hands, but then I smartly decide that I can use it to wash the cars! So I took out a tupperware container and scrape up a pint of soap off the driveway with my nifty spatula. I was pretty proud of myself, so maybe only one cup of my liquid handsoap was wasted, mm hm, I am good.

And guess what the happy ending is to this sitcom...

4 feel asleep on the couch while I was cleaning up the mess.

5 remarks:

Joel and Jessie said...

First of all good job getting the last 2 GALLONS of soap!!!!!!!!! You are definitely prepared for the swine flu pandemic! ha ha! Second I stopped by your house and did notice some ooze coming out from under the garage door and thought I might need to tell you something was leaking out of your car....now I don't have to do that.......

Rochelle said...

My only question is..... Why are you still wearing heels??? :) Running shoes are much easier on your back:)

Heather said...

Your day sounds familiar! Hope your shoes are okay. You're so cute!

Kirsten Amelia said...

Hee hee. Rachael I just love you! I love reading your blog

Staci said...

I would laugh my guts out at your sitcom too!! Now, why would you even want to move??? Aren't I just the best neighbor ever?? hehe.