Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Ups and Downs of Our Life

OK, I can't always be positive, you know. Life really does stink sometimes. But, just so you don't have to read through a bunch of lows, I will put in the highs too. Besides, the highs are my favorite anyway! (smile)

My two oldest kids wanted to challenge themselves to the 50/20 last Friday night (50 miles in 20 hours). I was excited for them, and knew I would be needing to help out...

hence, the DOWN:
Marc was at work and then a horse ride right after so it was up to me to keep 3 and 9 entertained and happy while I drove behind 13 and 17 to make sure they were safe, fed and hydrated for the first bit. It started at 4pm and was supposed to go until 12pm the next day. The first 20 minutes went well... ya, the first 20 minutes, it was downhill from there—no, not the walk, 3's attitude. She screamed because of various reasons: not routine, going the wrong way, wanting to get out and walk on the dangerous canyon road with 13 and 17...

So, yes, my mommy pregnancy hormones were squirming and screaming inside and I couldn't take it anymore so I allowed 9 and 3 to walk in front of my car through the canyon so they could be like 13 and 17.. it was a bit scary for me but...

UP: I got some great pictures of 3 walking in her night gown. She was so proud. And 9 was so excited to walk with his big sister and tried his hardest to keep up with her. It actually brought tears to my eyes as I watched him try so hard. I was also amazed that the two of them made it 1.3 miles!!!! Very proud!!! And I got some great pictures!

I was just getting too nervous having them walk on the canyon road and made them get back in the car. 3 screamed her lungs out till her lips were purple for the next 1 1/2 hours. I couldn't handle it anymore but, I was worried about 13 and 17 because they had been separated from the group and were walking on their own, so I figured I would take 3 and 9 to my sister's house while I took them some dinner and such. So for about 2 hours Jessie watched 3 and 9 while I drove with 13 and 17 through the first part of the evening.

I could tell that 13 was getting worn out and tired so I wasn't sure that he would make it but, 17 seemed to be going strong, so I was worried about her being alone through the night. So I began stressing some more.

I headed back home at 9:00pm with the two ornery and tired little ones and met up with Marc on the way. He switched shifts and picked up 13 whose feet were toast and then followed 17 in the car the rest of the way—25 miles.

She made it half way!!!!! It was awesome!!! We were very proud but, I don't think she had time to be proud because she was so tired and sore she just fell apart and cried, not able to believe she made it that far.

I think the whole day caught up with me (3 had been crying and wining non-stop that whole day) so when Marc and I laid down for bed I just began bawling--crying uncontrollably. You moms all know that cry, the one that says, I can't do it anymore, and I just need to fall apart right now and there is nothing you can do about it. Our poor husbands...

On Memorial Day we decided to go scouting for new camping areas so we drove up Nebo Creek Road to check it out. It was awesome! We stopped and had a picnic near the creek and the kids loved it. I got some fun pics and videos. 17 even got one of me and Marc teasing eachother so I will post that too. The one of 9 crying is from when he fell in the creek. I couldn't resist taking a pic because that happens EVERY TIME he is near water...

The video you just have to watch. It is part of our drive home. I laugh every time I watch it—man, it is just too funny to think we listened to this the WHOLE way home!!!

For some reason, 3 was overstimulated during the day, still not sure how, and it is all part of the Fragile X thing—anxieties are really high and they struggle with hyperarousal—so it could be a series of various things (maybe it was the dual harmonicas playing in the car for an hour and a half??...). Anyway, she was up all night long, really, all night, I would think that she was off to sleep, so I would go in to my room to lay down and as soon as my head hit the pillow, she was up. This went on from 11pm till 5:30 am—ya, tired.

That same day 9 had his big school program at 2pm that day. Oh, how I treasured being there! It was awesome!!! I really mean it. I am so impressed with all that he has accomplished, his classmates included. It is so interesting to see all the different struggles they have but, they don't seem to notice or care—I wish all children were like that—you know, not making fun of one another—it was neat to see.

My favorite song they sang was "I Like Being Me" (I was going to post it, but it is taking to long and it's getting late, so I will add it later). Just to let you know that 9 is sticking his tongue out at me because being recorded makes him really anxious, but, I recorded him anyway—tongue and all.

3 was up again all night, same as before... I won't go into details, I am pregnant, and I have cried enough—I am done for the day.

Because of the no sleep thing, when I got 9 up for school and got him breakfast, I laid down on the couch to "rest" my eyes. I was awakened to 9 saying, "the bus is here!" He was still in his pajamas. I asked the bus driver if she could wait one minute while he quickly got dressed. She said "no", there wasn't time I guess.

Well, of course, this is out of 9's routine so he got very upset and then I thought of a great idea...

There is a little girl on our block just around the corner from us that rides 9's bus and gets on after him. I told 9 to quickly get dressed and see if he could run and catch the bus at her house. To my surprise he was so excited for the challenge knowing that if he could do this he could still ride the bus. With my help, he was quickly dressed, grabbed his backpack as I put on his shoes and he ran (giggling, mind you) as fast as he could. He was running so fast that he fell flat on his face at the end of our yard. My heart dropped, he hates failure and usually falls apart, but, to my surprise and with tears welling up in my eyes I watched him quickly get back up, still giggling and finished running as fast as he could to the bus. I was so proud of him, and I KNOW he was proud too. It was just so cute...

3 continued on with her falling apart/wining all day because she can't seem to regulate herself so I took her out to the trampoline, and the swing to help her out.

UP: It worked, and she was finally back to being happy again. So I was able to take her (once again) to my sweet sister to be watched while I ran some much needed errands.

After much deliberation and thought and especially after 3's two-day melt down, I decided that I had to quit the play "Wizard of Oz." When I told the director I totally cried, I hadn't realized just how much it really meant to me to be able to be part of this. I have wanted to be in a play for years, and I was hoping it was finally going to happen. 13 will still be in it, but, not me...

I finally was able to do the whole dance for "Fame" for the Twist and Shout concert this Saturday!! Yay! And to top it all off, we needed another dancer so I talked my sister, Kirsten into dancing with us!! It has been so much fun to have here there with me. She is such a good dancer and I am so proud of her.

Another day tomorrow—a brand new one.

I always know I have family there for me.

And friends.

Grin and bear it!!!

5 remarks:

Joel and Jessie said...

hang in there!! we love you!

amyandrandy said...

WOW! I can't believe all those struggles we all seem to go through, but your are magnified FXS. With all those sleepless nights I am not sure how pull it off. =)

I love the last video...LOL!

Rochelle said...

Sounds like quite the roller coaster!!! Hang in there, it won't be like this for long:) Life is always harder when I am pregnant!! I am glad you have your sis so close to help out when you are at the end of your rope.

And 25 miles!!!!! Holy cow that is amazing! WOW

Ethington Family said...

I have been terrible about the computer lately. I have been reading too much and haven't spent much time keeping up on this part of things. I am so happy for you having a baby! I am sorry for your hard days. I hate missing sleep! I really hope you are able to get a break in between. You are amazing and I wish you well!

Lisa said...

Ya, that was one looooooong night! I was not sleeping either and Nicki kept saying "you worry too much". I hope I didn't offend Jodi O. when I said in an exasperated tone-- "who thought up this 50/20 thing, anyway?!" then I got the flu the next day. Nicki went 35 miles and says the reason she didn't finish is because I discouraged her! Next year, I promised to go far away and worry from another state or something! Oh brother!