Sunday, December 11, 2016

Steering the Car with The Horn

Oh my goodness, I love hearing all the funny things our kids say... like when Sister says "oytmeel" instead of oatmeal, "Syria" instead of Sierra, or her ever famous "meemember" instead of remember. Sadly, though, I don't remember them all, but I remember laughing about them.

Luckily, I've taken notes of a few of the funny things our kids have said over the last while.

Sister often tells huge stories and I truly think I just may take one of her "stories" and turn it into a book one day, she's very creative... an by creative, I mean, she can weave some amazingly imaginative stretches of truth.

Sister told us one day that a boy in her class was getting fired because he had a cigarette hanging in his mouth. Both Marc and I looked at her very perplexed knowing that she weaves a fantastic tale we weren't sure where this one was coming from--they usually have some kind of context behind them, but this was not the norm. Noticing our puzzled and "I don't think I believe you" actions she quickly piped in, "Wait, wait! Oh ya, I forgot! He actually got in trouble because of child labor laws" long pause from all of us,  "My teacher was so mad."

While taking a little road trip we saw a Delorian pass us on the freeway and she got so excited. (If you don't know what that car is, it's from the movie 'Back to the Future' and we had just recently watched an edited version... lots of swear words... anyway) She said it was from that movie and it was going so fast that she could see its tracks. (In the movie the car leaves flaming tracks when it travels in time.) She kept calling it the time machine car and excitedly exclaimed, "I'm so excited to see it again! I haven't seen it for so long!" All that while bouncing up and down in her seat like a Mexican jumping bean.

One day after the kids were home from school and I was editing photos I was talking to my sister, Jessie on phone and Baby was standing by me asking for a snack and she was talking so clearly and politely. This is quite a big deal now-a-days to hear her speaking so much and so well. It used to just be a few inaudible words and some grunts, cries and pokes. Jessie, all too familiar with her regular communications skills, commented about her talking so much and I said, "I know it's been so fun to hear her talk and its been so exciting and rewarding to hear her talk so much." Baby heard me say this and commented quietly behind me, "and no batteries." Both Jessie and I were not only laughing at that one, but just the fact that she would even come up with that idea was so amazing!

One morning Baby was admiring the snow and happily declared, "It's Christmas."

We were explaining to the kids that Christmas was on a Sunday this year and discussing whether we should open presents before or after church that day. After some calm discussion, which in and of itself was amazing to Marc and me, Sister looked perplexed and asked, "Is it a leap year or somethin'? How'd they put Christmas on a Sunday this year?"

So, during the week of Thanksgiving I took photos for my niece and nephew's Dad, girlfriend, Aviva, and her family who had come in from California and we all had such a great time together that I invited them all to have an early Thanksgiving dinner with us. It was such a great experience and Brother just completely adored Aviva. He was asking how Aviva was related to him and we were explaining that technically she isn't related because she is like Kelsey and Bryan's step-mom. On the way home Brother kept talking about Aviva and how nice she was. The next morning as I was getting him up for school he was talking again about Aviva and then says, "I guess I have a step aunt." Everyone Brother loves is family to him!

While staying at my mom's house for a little bit while I did a photo shoot Sister had been having fun watching me outside. It was muddy in the field we were in and without a though she ran into Grandma's house with her muddy shoes and Grandma said, "Whoa! Whoa! You have mud on your shoes!" Avery looked at Grandma with a smile and replied, "Oh, no, Grandma, I don't mind," this interaction was repeated three times before Sister realized that it was Grandma who minded...

So many funny things that we get to hear on a daily basis.

So many times we laugh at how sweet and cute their words are.

And often we are trying to correct our children so they know how to be appropriate, kind, NOT blunt, and honest.

When you have children with special needs (for us specifically, Fragile X Syndrome) you are constantly trying to help them learn the "right" way to do things so they can be as "normal" as possible.

It's funny that parents often times tell their kids that they don't need to try to be like anyone else, that it's OK to be unique, to be themselves, and let their light shine. Yet, here we are parenting Special Needs and teaching them almost the opposite it seems.

It's a lot like a bit of advice I once heard from a dear friend:

"Yelling at your children is like steering the car with the horn." 

Bless your heart Becky, it's one of the best bits of advice I've ever heard and I've shared it often.

I'm not saying I'm yelling at my kids all the time, but I think that even trying to make your kids be something they are not is almost the same as yelling.

I've never been able to steer any of my cars with the horn.

I've never gotten anywhere by "making" my kids do things while I'm using the wrong tools.

The best we can do, special needs or not, is to love them, be the person we hope they will be and keep Christ in our lives daily.

I hope that we are encouraging them to be themselves, but also trying to help them be happy, productive members of society.

I mean, I guess I'd rather be a steering wheel than the horn. I think my kids will like me better that way. The sound of the horn gets annoying and eventually you learn to tune it out anyway.

Now for a few cute pictures to look at:

Baby loves to make brownies and every time I have oil or eggs out she asks, "Brownies?" and then we have to make them.

Had to take a picture of this because our outing to the Church Christmas Party was a complete and total success... well, that is if you exclude the part where Baby grabbed my face, put my nose to hers and grunted, "Don't ever sing that again," after I performed a solo of  Angels We Have Heard On High. Tee hee hee hee!

The best gift Brother got for his 17th birthday! The BB8 pillow!

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