I fear that there was some time today that I thought there was no way I was going to be able to post anything positive about the day.
I'm trying so hard to be positive through the tough times, but this week has been especially rough and today was no different.
Baby was up a lot last night, therefore, so was I.
She has these night terrors.
They are awful.
It's like they are screaming out for help or just had a horrible nightmare but there is nothing you can do to wake or console her.
We went through this same thing with both Sister and Brother so we have learned over the years that you just need to be in the room to give a comforting voice but that is all you can do until they calm themselves. It's really not fun to watch.
So after that it is a little bit emotionally draining having to listen to your child writhe in what seems like fear and pain and then it is physically draining because you haven't had much restful sleep. But, I still have to be up at 6:30 am to get my kids ready for school.
Remember, Brother doesn't just get up on his own, get ready and eat breakfast to head out to the bus on time. I have to be there to facilitate the entire routine.
Then I had decided that I would let Baby sleep in and take her to school late so she could have some more rest.
After Sister was off to school I had to carry/wrestle/backbend Joslin into the car in a blubbering mess so I could get her to school. (I felt like blubbering since this was all I had seemed to be doing all week was pushing fighting children into the car.)
I then came home in a crumpled and defeated heap and motivated myself to do some things and during that time I had realized that I had forgotten about another doctor's appointment that had been scheduled months ago for baby today at 4:30.
I decided, because of this, I was in even greater need for a date with my hubby. So, I planned to start a fantastical date when we got back from the doctor, which I figured a safe time to start would be 6:30...
After a late start I got Baby, again in a carried/wrestled/backbend, into the car and we were off for her medicine checkup.
Then we got there:
This was after the production it took to weigh her and get her height...
thank me that it was only 7 seconds.
I had recorded this to make Marc feel sorry for me...
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| This is how I was able to calm her after a traumatic 30-minute fall-apart—rubbing her tummy and repeating, "It's OK." |
We waited a LONG time to have a LONG visit.
I was anxious (not to mention frazzled) because I was 30 minutes away from home and the clock was ticking closer to 6:30 and it looked as though my relaxing and fun night out was going to be delayed a bit.
Long story short, by the time I got home it was 30 minutes later than I had planned, Marc wasn't ready to go and I felt like I was going to fall into pieces on the floor.
I got mad at Marc for not being ready even with me being late and I continued to grumble about the house about how mad I was about him not be ready to go when I got home and how I felt like he didn't care about us going out and I was just getting more and more upset.
When Lindsey got here to be with the kids I put on the happiest face I could muster and said my thanks to her and started out the door while saying goodbye to the kids. Brother stopped me with a smirk on his face showing that he was going to make a funny and he said, "Have an awful time on your date, Mother." I chuckled guiltily and went out to the car.
I felt bad for a moment that I had, in my resentment and frustration, shown my kids that I was going to have a horrible time on my date...
But my feel-bads didn't feel bad very long as Marc began to talk about his day and was getting more resentful thinking of all I had been through and how badly I wanted this date to be my "out" and my saving grace for the day. I was so sure that my date was going to be blogged as my "up" for the day and now there was no way I even had an oomph to have "up."
As we sat in the restaurant waiting to be seated I was getting more and more intense. Marc was clearly trying to make things better by making small talk and trying to get me to get back to my happy self, but it wasn't working.
Maybe my blood sugar was low or something because once we started eating I was easing up on my anger a bit, but still feeling like and elephant had stomped on my parade.
After dinner Marc thought it would be fun to go "sample" ice cream and yogurt and the local Fro-Yo shop and that got my spirits up a bit as I tried the tart tasting yogurts and then we decided to splurge and get dessert too.
Then I was un-mad enough to want to go see a movie I have been wanting to see since I saw it preview: "Into The Woods."
I never would have thought that this movie would be my motivation for writing tonight.
Have you ever seen the play, "Into The Woods?" I haven't.
I've just heard about it.
So I thought I'd at least see the movie.
I really liked it.
Loved it actually.
The music is entrancingly harmonious and intriguingly clever.
But there was one song that brought it all full circle for me.
"Children Will Listen"
This is one of my favorite renditions, and it even has one of my friends from the Addam's Family play I was in. He's the first boy soloist that comes walking forward. Watch... and listen:
So after hearing that song I was reminded of Brother's comment before I left home,
"Have an awful time on your date, mother."
I do have to be careful the things I say.
Our children will listen.
So, my up for today was that I learned from my son the importance of my words.
Day 9 of 365 days of UP
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