Tickled Envy?

I get so jealous when I see other children of about 2-4 years old who actually sit...

Just sit by their mom, dad, caregiver or even their dog for more than 1 minute.

I get green with envy when I see one that actually starts to get up to leave and a reminder is given to "Wait here please, and we'll leave in minute." I swoon with jealousy and then want to cry as I over hear the mother say to her friend, "Ugh, they just never learn do they?"

Oh, if they only knew.

If they only knew what my world was like.

What it was like to not be able to take my eyes of my 3 year old for 30 seconds let alone be able to turn to her and say, "Wait here." Ha! That's laughable!

Now, I am giving one of the more extreme examples but,  you know, I really do hope that the majority of you mothers out there give your children an extra hug and a kiss just because they did stand by you today and please don't roll your eyes just because they were anxious to leave, they are kids and I was impressed by them today.

I also want to give a shout out to all those that have children who allow their parents or caregivers to make last minute, or even hours before, decisions with only a minimal amount of grumbling, complaining or ho-humming from the back of the car. Trust me, that is nothing to get all bent out of shape over and let it ruin your day about. Sure, discipline and make sure to let them know what is appropriate, but try not to tell your friends how terrible your children are later. Only after you have sat in my car during a change in plans can you truly appreciate the slight complaints coming from the back seats. Breaking routine, big or small, is a HUGE no-no in the realm of Autism and Fragile X Syndrome. Sister teaches me that every day, no matter how often I learn it, I always learn it a new way.

I'm green when I see how so many kids Brother's age have friends show up at their houses all the time to hang out while I just hope for interaction for him on the nights of Mutual, at church and if we happen to run into anyone at some of the activities I try to keep him busy with each day. I wish he had friends that wanted to hang out with him just because he was so cool. Not just the kid that was fun to be nice to when he was around. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE his buddies, I do, it's just that Green Monster that comes to attack me at some moments.

And then there's the moments like right now.

I'm sitting her blogging listening to Brother laughing with the neighborhood kids and enjoying just being himself and having fun. I am reminded that he is loved and cared about and it doesn't matter if he has specific people coming over to hang out (frankly, I don't even know if he would know what to do if someone did come over unannounced).

Then, I'm tickled Pink!

Pink!

You know, that happy color pink?

I have my pink moments like when Baby hugs me so tight that everyone around me gives and audible "Ooh, cute!"

Or when Sister is so happy she can't contain it and jumps around like a human-sized grasshopper!

Pink!

I have those moments, sometimes, almost simultaneously! So I guess I can be tickled pink and green with envy at the same time. So does that mean I have a case of tickled envy?

I guess that's the life I live in.

I guess that's how I balance it in my head.

One thing I do know for sure is that I couldn't make it through days like these if it weren't for the help of all the angels around me.

Gracie working with Sister in the morning with "summer school"

The crew came to help me out with all three kids at the water park, Baby was content to not be in the picture

Helping with puzzles

The forever loved Lindsey

Even Lindsey's little sister has been getting in on the volunteering

So you see, how can I not be tickled pink when I have so many who are willing to help.

Just a little while ago I had someone tell me they are so jealous of all the talents I have.

I politely informed them that I think that Heavenly Father knew that my talents were the only thing that would help me stay sane in this life and make me feel like I was able to serve others although I was so busy with my own trials.

So I'll try really hard not to be jealous of you, and you can try not to be jealous of me.

I know it's hard not to be jealous of a graphic designer, photographer, blogger, sidewalk chalk artist, singer, married to an Alec Baldwin look-alike, but built like Superman kind of man who also has 3 children with Fragile X Syndrome and whose life will never know anything other than what revolves around those 3 children all the way until I die, but I think you will be able to get over it.

(smile)